'tis the season....

For what? What does this "season" look like, feel like, mean to you? Well, for those that know our family, it is a time of constant celebration. Ben's birthday tends to kick it off (November 9), then we decorate the house and put up the tree, we go to our favourite Christmas party in late November, Ro's birthday is December 3, Vi's birthday is December 20, we will have 2 family Christmases (Smith and Misener), we love the traditions we have started on Christmas Eve (fondue and storytelling around our fireplace), Christmas Day, and my birthday is December 26. We also have our extended Misener Christmas on January 1. *Insert collective sigh.* But a mainly good sigh.

This year, in our quest to simplify, we wanted things to look different and feel different. We wanted to make sure our focus remains on our Constant, and not on all the "stuff" that we can get sucked into. We wanted to make sure we weren't thoughtlessly adding to our possessions (see our 100 thing quest) but thoughtfully thinking through gifts. We started this last year, and this year, we have a MAJOR family experience planned. Stay tuned....

So, for our birthdays, we are doing one family celebration on December 1. We are going to go to our favourite local restaurant (Ro wanted to go to Swiss Chalet, but I put my foot down - little Ben) to celebrate all our birthdays in one shot, and have cake at home for dessert. This alleviated the need for 4 special birthday dinners, extended family birthday parties, or the dreaded friend birthday party that costs hundreds of dollars (the going rate around here - no one does home birthdays anymore it seems). We will still take time on our respective days to celebrate the birthday person (Ro wants pancakes and bacon for dinner), but it will be low-key and it doesn't have to be about stuff. Since the girls' birthdays are on a Monday and Thursday respectively, Ben isn't able to be home for any celebration and we all decided that it would be WAY better to celebrate all together. For their birthdays, I'm going to write each girl a letter telling them how much they are loved and what we adore about them.

The decision to do this hasn't been without pain. "What about celebrating each kid individually?" "Won't their actual birthday days be anti-climatic?" "Are you doing a disservice to your kids?" "Is this sustainable moving forward?" Let me answer some FAQ.

• First off, Vi is turning 2 and really doesn't have a sweet clue as to when her "real" birthday is. She'll be thrilled to wake up to a decorated room on any day, and even more thrilled that we are together as a family to do so. 

• I'm not sure our culture's push to tell each kid how special they are is a healthy stance, focus, statement. Our bend towards individualism has caused us to become self-reliant, less tolerant of those who believe/think/live differently than us, and isolated. Celebrating individually is fun, and if all our birthdays were somewhat spread out through the year, this might be a non-issue. But since our birthdays are together, since we want celebrations to focus on relationship, what better way than doing it all together!!
• I love each of my daughters to the moon and back, and I can show them this collectively and individually all throughout the year. 

• Though we love tradition, we are super flexible and will evaluate each year as it comes. Sustainability, shushstainability. 

I have no problem with people disagreeing with our decision. But the key word is that it is OUR decision, and it is what feels right...this year...for us.

Here's to celebrations that focus on what really matters - relationship,
Tam
aka the birthday grinch