heavy hearted

WARNING: THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF MY LIGHTER-HEARTED POSTS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

I have had a sad week. I have had several friends experience deep hurt and loss - loss of relationship, loss of income, loss of a family member, loss of health, loss of trust. I felt the loss indirectly, not being immersed in the hurt first-hand. I spent time talking to God about each thing and each person/family affected. I thought I was "taking it all in stride" (whatever that really means).

Then Sunday came. I began to sense the magnitude of the pain of those around me - those I know and those I don't know. And the tears flowed because it was then that it hit me - even though awful things happen every second, I don't have to face any of the hurt or pain alone. None of us can. I don't know how we could. However, there are those who don't have the supports I have....

For those who don't know me extremely well, I love Jesus. I don't claim to know everything, nor do I claim to have it all together. Following Jesus and being embraced by His love does not mean loss will not happen, that hurt won't creep its way in and try to take over, that crappy things won't happen, that life will be peachy keen. What it does mean is that my friendship with the Lord of the universe cannot be taken by anyone, though it can be tested and challenged, as anything worth developing and investing in usually is. I was reminded that no matter what happens, I am loved. I was reminded that I need to be that love to everyone I encounter, even those who I don't know well. We are not made to do life alone. We need community.

There is no way to avoid pain, hurt. Shutting out those around you does not help lessen the sorrow. Being embraced, knowing you are not alone, being loved in tangible ways, having hope - this is what life is about. Imagine not experiencing such things? Imagine how lonely and sad you could be? Beyond belief, there are those who have never been truly embraced, who are alone, who don't experience love in tangible ways, who have no hope. What do we do with this? Especially in juxtasposition to....

I have much to be thankful for - a loving husband, two of the most adorable offspring ever created......

.....2 loving families, most excellent friends, health, freedom, shelter, clothing, food, transportation. Most importantly, I am the daughter of the king of the universe, who loves me no matter what, who helps me find peace in all situations, who holds me while I grieve and grieves along with me, who is more revolted than I can imagine by the brokenness and autracities that happen to His children everyday, who wants nothing more than to be my friend. I am embraced, I am not alone, I am loved in tangible ways, I have hope.

I have to live my life in messy ways. Getting to know others and love them can be messy and inconvenient. Helping others can be painful and hard on our resources (time, finances). But how can I do less? Here's to rolling up my sleeves and making a mess, and showing my daughters that we are all in this together, that we share what we have with those who don't have, that it is not "us" and "them" - it is simply, and beautifully "we".

"The wind is strong and the water's deep, but I'm not alone in these open seas, Cause your love never fails...."

Don't tell me I didn't warn you.
Peace,
Tam