perspective

Merry Christmas to you all! I have loved simplifying the holidays this year and have really enjoyed the focus our new Advent traditions have brought this season. I can actually say I am full of anticipation celebrating Jesus' birth. With having no Christmas shopping to do, Ben around for the last 2 weeks due to an injury (tore his left quad at work), and minimal baking this year (I scaled down my usual 11-14 recipes to our 3 favourites), I have truly been able to revel in the joy and peace this season can bring. And then...tragedy.

I happened to learn of Friday's tragic events through people's status updates on Facebook, and immediately was shocked and saddened to hear of such devastation and pain. I cannot imagine losing my child or spouse in such a sudden, violent way. But there was something that really started to bother me - the media coverage (which I have not watched) and people processing this through their status updates. And it got me thinking. Do we believe every human life is of equal worth? Because if we do, what about the more than 26500 kids who die every day of preventable causes related to their poverty? Whose status updates are crying out for these mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents who have lost their innocent child? Just because it happens more frequently and less violently (sometimes) in third world countries shouldn't make it any less tragic, sad, or shocking.

So, to answer the "what can I do in the face of these tragic events" question, it is time to expand "our own backyard". It is time to cry out for those around the world who are orphaned and don't have access to medicine, food, and clean drinking water. It is time to do something. We are aware. We must act. Save a life...now, through purchasing clean drinking water, a mosquito net, an animal for someone, by sponsoring a child. There are many reputable organizations who provide opportunities to do such things (like World Vision, MCC, Compassion, a load of clean drinking water organizations, and lots of other great relief organizations). It is time to get down on our knees and pray for the hurting, the sick, the lonely, the orphaned, the lost, wherever they live, regardless of circumstance. 

"Break my heart for what breaks yours",
Tam

celebrating advent

How do you celebrate Advent? Our usual game plan is: buy the Lindt chocolate calendar from Costco, try not to fight over who gets the delicious chocolate each day...and that's about it. Sure, we talk about the birth of Jesus, but I wouldn't say it is a family focus.

This year, I thought we could raise the bar and focus on what this season means to us, not so much on chocolate. Sooooo, I didn't buy the Lindt chocolate calendar this year. I wondered if I would have a mutiny on my hands, and that is yet to be seen. Instead, I revamped a reusable Advent calendar I bought a couple of years ago.

Each closed space used to house a Christmas decoration that you would hang on the tree - new day, new door, new decoration. Well, when I got the calendar out last week, Ro and Vi immediately got out every decoration and hung them on the tree. "Perfect," I thought. "Now I could move forward with my plan."

With some inspiration from Pinterest (where else, right??), I decided I would fill each slot with a family activity that would focus on relationship leading up to the birth of Jesus, since He is relationship. They range from watching "Frosty the Snowman" together and eating popcorn, to dancing to Christmas carols, to doing a service for someone in need. Ro will love this idea for sure!

Then, each night, we will talk about why Jesus came to earth as a baby, and an attribute of Jesus. On pieces of card stock, I wrote "Jesus is..." and then listed a characteristic. I referenced a Bible verse or passage on the back so we could discuss it further. For example, the first day we are starting with "Jesus is...peace". Two of the cards have "Tam's story" and "Ben's story" referenced on the back so we can share with the girls how the listed attribute attracted us to Jesus/informs our relationship with him. The last characteristic we will discuss on Christmas Eve is how "Jesus is...a gift". We will then display the cards so we can look them over whenever we so desire.

To finish it off, I have put together a daily reading list of Christmas/seasonal books and Bible stories, segmented (for easier comprehension and discussion, and so that I have 24 things to read), that highlight the season and the birth of Jesus. Some of them are quite short but this was intentional so that it left time to talk through ideas, reflect on stories, make comparisons to other stories we have read, and relate them to our lives.

Now, some of you will be howling at this point. I hear you. And I agree - this might be ambitious for an almost 5 year old and not quite 2 year old. But I have never thought there is anything wrong with setting the bar high, as long as we are muddling through together, keeping our minds and hearts open. And there is never anything wrong with trying to maintain singular focus in a muddled world.

I would love to hear how your family celebrates the Advent.

Here's to another dose of intentionality,
Tam

'tis the season....

For what? What does this "season" look like, feel like, mean to you? Well, for those that know our family, it is a time of constant celebration. Ben's birthday tends to kick it off (November 9), then we decorate the house and put up the tree, we go to our favourite Christmas party in late November, Ro's birthday is December 3, Vi's birthday is December 20, we will have 2 family Christmases (Smith and Misener), we love the traditions we have started on Christmas Eve (fondue and storytelling around our fireplace), Christmas Day, and my birthday is December 26. We also have our extended Misener Christmas on January 1. *Insert collective sigh.* But a mainly good sigh.

This year, in our quest to simplify, we wanted things to look different and feel different. We wanted to make sure our focus remains on our Constant, and not on all the "stuff" that we can get sucked into. We wanted to make sure we weren't thoughtlessly adding to our possessions (see our 100 thing quest) but thoughtfully thinking through gifts. We started this last year, and this year, we have a MAJOR family experience planned. Stay tuned....

So, for our birthdays, we are doing one family celebration on December 1. We are going to go to our favourite local restaurant (Ro wanted to go to Swiss Chalet, but I put my foot down - little Ben) to celebrate all our birthdays in one shot, and have cake at home for dessert. This alleviated the need for 4 special birthday dinners, extended family birthday parties, or the dreaded friend birthday party that costs hundreds of dollars (the going rate around here - no one does home birthdays anymore it seems). We will still take time on our respective days to celebrate the birthday person (Ro wants pancakes and bacon for dinner), but it will be low-key and it doesn't have to be about stuff. Since the girls' birthdays are on a Monday and Thursday respectively, Ben isn't able to be home for any celebration and we all decided that it would be WAY better to celebrate all together. For their birthdays, I'm going to write each girl a letter telling them how much they are loved and what we adore about them.

The decision to do this hasn't been without pain. "What about celebrating each kid individually?" "Won't their actual birthday days be anti-climatic?" "Are you doing a disservice to your kids?" "Is this sustainable moving forward?" Let me answer some FAQ.

• First off, Vi is turning 2 and really doesn't have a sweet clue as to when her "real" birthday is. She'll be thrilled to wake up to a decorated room on any day, and even more thrilled that we are together as a family to do so. 

• I'm not sure our culture's push to tell each kid how special they are is a healthy stance, focus, statement. Our bend towards individualism has caused us to become self-reliant, less tolerant of those who believe/think/live differently than us, and isolated. Celebrating individually is fun, and if all our birthdays were somewhat spread out through the year, this might be a non-issue. But since our birthdays are together, since we want celebrations to focus on relationship, what better way than doing it all together!!
• I love each of my daughters to the moon and back, and I can show them this collectively and individually all throughout the year. 

• Though we love tradition, we are super flexible and will evaluate each year as it comes. Sustainability, shushstainability. 

I have no problem with people disagreeing with our decision. But the key word is that it is OUR decision, and it is what feels right...this year...for us.

Here's to celebrations that focus on what really matters - relationship,
Tam
aka the birthday grinch