processing is a journey, part 1

Mozambique:
A former Portuguese colony
Differing from British colonies, nationals were treated without dignity or respect. They were given limited access to education and health care. 
When Mozambique achieved independence, the Portuguese, upon leaving, poured cement down wells. They set fire to landmarks. They did unimaginable things.
Mozambique was left bereft - of dignity, of self-respect. The country was left to govern themselves with no experience doing so. There were few skilled labourers. The infrastructure was in shambles. 
Within one year of independence, almost all the Portuguese population had left. This rapid exodus left the economy in disarray. 
Then civil war, for 15 years, under the auspices of communism. War destroyed the remaining wealth. There was a state of absolute disrepair. 
Now democracy. Then a cyclone caused widespread flooding. Now economic recovery led by investment from South Africa, East Asia, and returning Portuguese nationals. 

My Journey: We step off the plane and see a single terminal airport, probably not too much unlike what the Hamilton airport would have been back in the day. There was one entrance door, one customs officer, one conveyor that contained our lugguage. 

All 7 of us, plus our MCC service worker, pile into a SUV, and head to the guesthouse. Our first glimpses included palm trees, some buildings being constructed, a resort with Asian funding being constructed, people walking on the side of the road, cyclists, and potholes the size of craters. 

As we enter Beira proper, the asphalt becomes patchy, the potholes increase in number, and we see large houses. We discover that at one time, this was one of the richest neighbourhoods. Humour me here. Close your eyes and picture a neighbourhood not far from where you live with 3000-4000 square foot homes, dated, but still well kept, lawns manicured, gardens neat and bursting with colour, mature trees, single families, multiple new cars that are freshly detailed in the driveway. It feels safe, secure, wealthy - for some of us perhaps unfamiliar, perhaps uncomfortable. Now imagine the only thing in common are the cars in the driveway. Well, actually, not even the cars. Imagine older model SUVs, patchy asphalt driveway, homes stained with mold and moisture, gardens long overgrown, laundry hanging across the second floor balconey. Further down the road, imagine these homes with no windows, gardens long gone, multiple families, no cars, and dirt. Everywhere dirt. Dusty, loamy, cover your feet kind of dirt. The kind that is so light it blows in the lightest breeze. The kind that it is hard to feel clean as it sticks to the least bit of moisture on your body. 

What happened to these once-beautiful neighbourhoods? War, neglect, poverty, lack of materials. 

Please close your eyes again. Imagine the Royal York in Toronto in all its glory, flags waving in the wind, clean, pristine. Imagine it gutted by a colonial power, burned, broken. Imagine 4-5000 squatters taking it over, men, women, children. Imagine walls and floors being chiselled away so chunks of concrete could be sold. Imagine children roaming all day as school is out of their reach. Imagine the once majestic yards and landscape overrun with grasses and weeds. Imagine the Olympic-sized swimming pool being used as their sewer. Imagine all windows long gone, tattered sheets blowing in the ocean breeze. Imagine how dark it is when the sun goes down at 5:45. My heart broke for the women and children, trying to survive. 

Grand Hotel, built in the 1060s

Heavy, dark, lack of hope. To be honest, that is exactly how I feel. Guilty. Sick. Heartbroken. 

I ask Steve, a BIC missionary and our tour guide, living in Beira for 1 year, how he keeps going, keeps positive, has hope. He looks at me and understands. He sees the lack of hope, the heartbrokenness. One word sticks out from what he shares next and that is OPPORTUNITY. Everywhere I see despair, he sees an opportunity. An opportunity to share food. An opportunity to raise funds to send a child to school. An opportunity to be loving, kind, and full of peace. An opportunity to share the hope he has in a better future. 

And it strikes me, right between the eyes. It is simple. It boils down to one thing. Everyone needs HOPE. As a mom without hope, I see a dark future for my children. I see neverending hunger. I see the cycle of poverty continuing, always continuing, without end. I see lack of confidence and the erosion of spirit in my husband. I feel the weight of caring for my family, of pretending to like waking up each day. The hunger pains have become my friend, something that is reliable and will always be with me. I see my comrades-in-arms, wearing their capalanas around their waist and their ends, carrying their tubs of fares to be sold at market, never meeting my eyes. I feel lonely. And then, HOPE. Hope fills my thoughts as I wake each morning, walking to get water. I smile at my children, as they get ready to walk to school, uniforms on, books in hand. My mundane, tedious tasks of making pots of rice, porridge, beans, brings me a joy as I feel pride in feeding my family. I feel the birthing of something new in my community. 

Where does this hope come from? From guys like Steve, and his wife, Chris, who left it all behind and who befriend those in Beira. They bring breakfast to street kids. They bring dinners to prisoners who never get to leave their cells, women accompanied by their children. They host moms groups. They teach those interested about Jesus and his transforming message of love and peace. They train and equip pastors and leaders. 

From people like Lisa, who left her career in Ontario in dentistry to build houses for Mozambican families. These families upkeep the inside of the homes, pay for the water and electricity, and she maintains the homes, pays the school fees for the children, and for $800, the family has a home that is theirs after 10 years. Oh, did I mention that these families also adopt 5-6 kids aged 5-11? And that they live in a 9 metre by 10 metre home? That they can have up to 3 biological kids? She is currently building homes 3 and 4, a duplex. How does she fund this? Us. You. Me. How does she get paid? Us. You. Me. The hope she brings is immeasurable. Once unloved are now loved. Once uneducated are now educated. Once hopeless are now full of HOPE. 

One of the homes, built by Lisa (and student engineers)

Lisa

From guys like Tony, recovered alcoholic and drug addict, now husband and father. He meets with a group of teenage boys 3 mornings per week in the alleyway in a market where they sleep before they split for the day. He brings them messages of transformation, hope, and encouragement. He brings money, food, love, and sometimes employment. He brings hope. 

Tony and his sidekick, Jim

The boys

From organizations like Mennonite Central Committee (MCC). With programs funded by individuals and organizations like The Meeting House, they are providing funding to grassroots programs that provide skill training to teenagers so they can have hope of earning a living for their families. They are funding programs like AACO (Aid Association for Orphan Children) where single and double orphans can go to hang out and eat. They also ensure each orphan has the required paperwork to go to school for grade 1 (not an easy feat for a lot of orphan children). These kids have the hope an education brings. They are funding schools, providing agricultural teachers for education in the school but also for the community. These communities have the hope that becoming self-sufficient brings. They are funding the BIC church HIV/AIDS program that provides awareness, education, home care, care kits, medicine. These people living with HIV/AIDS have the hope that there is a brighter future, one without stigmitization, one with community. A community filled with hope. 

AACO in Mafambisse

Teenage girls at Machanga, walking to school

Mozambique...here I come!!

The countdown is officially on - 30 days until I leave for Mozambique!! This may come as news to some (those who didn't see my Facebook status updates), and is old news to others. What? Why? How? Who with? WHAT??? I thought I would bring you all up to speed...

The AIDS pandemic and its ravaging of the continent of Africa first came onto my radar back in the day, pre-children (I really don't remember those days), when I was working full-time at our church, The Meeting House. I started talking to friends about it, I started reading about it (the first book I read was Stephen Lewis' Race Against Time), and I started to pray. I read a bunch on the unequal distribution of resources in our world, I read more on the plight of our global neighbours, and I prayed more. God put a burning desire on my heart at that time (probably 7 years ago now) to travel to southern Africa - I didn't know how, I didn't know when, I just knew I was to go.

Fast forward 7 years, and here I am, the mother of 2 young children, the wife of someone who is never home while he is working, the person who makes our family tick. But God was stirring. He has been leading me down this path as of late, and I knew I should apply to be a member of the next Africa Learning Team. What's an Africa Learning Team? It's a small team of around 5-7 people from The Meeting House who travel to southern Africa to learn about the programs we fund on the ground, to investigate development, to witness the people and stories and changed lives, to partner with MCC, World Vision, and the BIC church, to build relationships with our friends and partners on the ground, and to be an advocate upon return. Note: to give some context, The Meeting House has given MCC approximately $2.5 million to beef up programs in southern Africa and we have pledged to give another $3.5 million to MCC and World Vision over the next 4 years. 

When The Meeting House began to publicize about its next Africa Learning Teams, one in May (with Mennonite Central Committee) to Mozambique, and one in July (with World Vision) to Malawi, I applied to both. Part of me was really hoping to go on the July trip - we have 2 sponsored children in one of the ADPs the team would be visiting, and Ben's show was scheduled to finish just before the trip so he could be the girls' primary caregiver. The next step in the process was an interview (with 2 of our best friends), and then I was offered a spot on the Mozambique team (in May). I accepted without a single hesitation, though I really thought God wanted me in Malawi and South Africa, not Mozambique. However, after digesting the news, I knew Mozambique was where God wants me. And now I leave in 30 days, to taste, smell, hear, and touch part of the continent I have been yearning to visit.

I AM SUPER EXCITED!!! Did you all hear that? I am so pumped to go, to learn, to hold, to help, to uplift, to be broken, to share stories. I have a team of people praying for me, I have wonderful family, friends, and extended family who are supporting me through encouragement, contributions, long skirts, miscellaneous things I will need for the trip, and prayers, and my kids and husband are excited for me to have this experience too (which is huge). Leading up to my interview, Ro would get teary when we talked about me leaving for 15 days. She would say she didn't want me to go. After I got offered a spot and talked with her about it, she was so excited - not one tear! I know the sadness will come (we had a little bit tonight), but she is stoked because she is going to hang with some of her favourite people (grandparents, dear friends, and her dad). Her routine will remain intact (school, playing, eating, sleeping), and both girls benefit by being able to remain at our home. A huge thank you to everyone who has helped to make this happen!!

I am also totally curious. I wonder what Mozambique will be like when I step foot there? I have read lots, watched lots of footage, but I haven't seen the dirt, breathed in the smells and the ocean, felt the wind, heard the languages. I wonder what God has in store for me and the people I meet? I wonder how our team will click and support each other?

I am also a little nervous. Let's be honest - I've never been away from Ben and the girls for this long (15  days!!). I'm mom and wife. That's who I am, that's what I do. But I have continued to remind myself that most importantly, I am God's child, obeying his leading, venturing out into the unknown. I know He will give me the strength, the peace, and the sustenance I need to make it through. I'm feeling the weight of being the eyes and ears for so many, to remember all the stories, to be an advocate on return. I want to do the people justice. I don't want to forget.

For a quick snapshot of life in Mozambique, read this interesting website: comparing Canada and Mozambique. I'm a senior in Mozambique. That is mind-boggling. To see a country torn apart by civil war, by a colonial power that pillaged and burned as they pulled out; a country on the ocean, yes, but with no water inland; to observe child-headed households and the other devastating affects of the AIDS pandemic - please join me in praying for safety, health, and emotional well-being for our team (Matt, Dan, Tim, Jane, Beth, Siobhan), that God would use us as He sees fit, that we would be open to new and different things, that our advocacy component would come together and bear true witness to Mozambique, MCC, the BIC church, and mostly to the people we meet, and that we would come back to never be the same. Pray for the Mozambicans we will interact with, that we will be Jesus' hands and feet and shine his perfect love. Please pray for our families that we leave behind.

Have any questions? Let me know!

I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Tam

the journey continues

Happy February!! Some of you, especially from the Great White North, might be wondering what is so happy about February. I'll tell you - winter is still here in full force, yet spring is around the corner; we celebrated our 17 year anniversary (WHAT!!??? I grow more in love with my sidekick as each day passes by - he is such a gift); and God continues to grow me and change me. That doesn't really have to do with February per se, but some of it has happened in February so it has made February "happy".

If you have been reading and following our journey, you will see we have been processing simplicity, and what that means for us as individuals, as parents, and as a family. Some of what it has meant is simplifying our schedule (we have no extra-curricular things on our plate right now, other than volunteering - just "being" is so important for us all!!), and simplifying the clutter (we have continued to give stuff away. The Christie Refugee Welcome Centre in Toronto is always in need of things for families that are looking to start again.). We continually examine how we spend our money so we will spend less, freeing up resources for those that need it. What freedom!!

Then, in the awesome little Thursday evening group I'm a part of, someone recommended reading 7: an experimental mutiny against excess. I am a reader and it sounded intriguing. Plus it was available from our public library. Free reads are even better. Well, talk about being challenged on so many levels, to the core of who I am. I can't stop sharing about this book, and I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of hearing me blab on about it, so I thought I would share about it here so I could process it in community.

Jen Hatmaker, a thirty-something mom of 3 (at that point, now a mom of 5), was encouraged by a friend to do her own social experiment right when she felt God was confronting her with her greed, excess, materialism, consumerism, envy, pride, comfort, insatiability, and irresponsibility. Her social experiment was simple: 7 months, 7 areas, reduced to 7 simple choices. It was a fast for her: an intentional reduction to make room for the important things, to let God do His thing. Jen wanted to repent of some of these things, set an example for her kids, and she wanted to untether from the lie of "more". The 7 areas were food (she only ate 7 foods for the month), clothes (she was allowed 7 articles of clothing for the month), possessions (gave away 7 things her family owned, EVERY DAY), media (no TV, gaming, Facebook/Twitter, iPhone apps, radio, texting, and Internet), waste (7 habits for a greener life: gardening, composting, conserving energy and water, recycling, driving only one car, shopping thrift and second-hand, and buying local for one month), spending (only spent money in 7 places for a month), and stress (she started to take a "Sabbath", a day of rest, and she paused and prayed 7 times per day, based on Seven Sacred Pauses). Some of you are probably thinking this chick is CRAZY, but was this book ever convicting. And God taught her so much.

Here are my own 7 lessons I have learned that have changed how I do life:

1. As Jen learned, no one noticed that she only wore one pair of jeans, 2 t-shirts, 1 long-sleeve shirt, 1 blouse, and 1 pair of capris all month. I can be so wrapped up in what other people think of me, that I quickly lose perspective and start to focus on the outside, when what is on the inside is what impacts everyone around me. NO ONE NOTICED!! 
2. I was challenged to share even more of our things. 2 sets of sheets for our bed? Give 1 to a family that is just starting out. 2 identical measuring cups? Give 1 to a family that is just starting out. A couple of extra towels? Give them to a family that is just starting out. Do we really need 8 plastic plates with matching cups? Nope. Give 4 of each to a family that is just starting out. And the list goes on. Sure, I might experience some inconvenience (like having to hand wash a plate before I was going to run the dishwasher, but really?? I'm going to complain about that??) but the joy of sharing and making a difference in someone else's life far outweigh any inconvenience. 
3. We are going to tackle gardening and canning this summer. Can't beat eating what you grow - keeps it organic, local, and cost-effective!! Hopefully the rabbits will share...
4. I am intentionally resting from sunset Saturday to sunset Sunday. I've never really taken a Sabbath. It's not how I am programmed. I keep looking for more, the next thing to do, under the guise of "being helpful", or "staying ahead of the curve", or "not wanting to let things pile up because then Monday is a gong show". Well, guess what? We have survived 2 Sabbaths, and Mondays have been just fine. It takes a little more planning ahead (like knowing what we are going to eat and having the ingredients on hand, better yet, prepared) but the rest is worth it. Family time. You can't beat it!!
5. I have started to implement the 7 sacred pauses each day and this has been REVOLUTIONARY for me! Okay, my goal is to pause 6 times a day because I am not going to get up at midnight. Sorry! But I have set my alarm for 6 times throughout they day, when I pause, read a little blurb about the pause, read some Scripture that goes along with it (all from the book of Psalms), and I pray. TALK ABOUT GAINING PERSPECTIVE, changing the focus. Starting my day with my focus on God and how I can serve those around me, how He can use me, how I can love those around me - it is healthy. I am intentionally looking for how God can use me throughout my day, inviting the Spirit to lead me, fostering peace in all my relationships, being grateful and thankful (which goes along with the gratitude journal I have been keeping). This is just what the doctor ordered. I feel like I have a new lease on life - and I don't want to waste a day! My eyes and heart are open. 
6. Life in the suburbs might not be the best fit for my family. Considering the environmental cost of commuting, the cost of keeping up 2 cars, the economic ramifications of continually shopping at big box stores, the isolation and perceived "safety" of the 'burbs...an exploration of city life might be in the works. 
7. The American dream isn't what God had in mind for the North American church. We are still acting like we are at a feast, but life is about balance, feast and fast. Where is the fast? Do we think ourselves so superior to the rest of creation that we are willing to deplete the earth to supply our luxuries? Where is the sacrifice for others? Where is the equality? What if all my little purchases do matter? What if we were more interested in justice? What standard is acceptable for my own life? My own family? This is the benchmark for everyone else, which means a decrease in the definition of necessary for us and an increase in the definition of acceptable for everyone else. 

I am 38 (yes, I am 1 year older than the last time I posted something) and am tired of living with my head in the sand. I want to make a difference, which starts with one decision. This one decision starts to impact every other decision that gets made. It becomes the first thing you think about when making a decision. It changes you. What is that decision? The decision to live differently, to make a difference, to not take life and all the things we have in North America for granted, like we deserve them. It is a decision to become focused on others, my neighbours who physically live beside me (hi Darla and Ray!!) and my neighbours who I have never met in South Africa. And do you know what makes this decision even better? Doing it with friends. Who is up for shaking up the status-quo? 

Never the same again,

Tam