we're BAAAACK...with news!

5 months. Has it really been that long since my last post? Lots can happen in 5 months - one can be approaching full-term in pregnancy, one is almost a half-year older, one can have enjoyed a summer vacation and be starting the next grade ... or one could not have blogged for that long. I fit into the last category. You?

Let me give you a quick recap and bring you up to speed:
1. I am still using the curly hair method and LOVE it (though I am currently in need of a haircut)!!!!
2. Ro finished JK and had an amazing year (which we are so thankful for).

Ro, 4 1/2 years, and Vi, 1/2 years. 

3. Ben is working on a new CBC show, Cracked. What a year he has had! As a  first assistant (or focus puller to our US friends), he has had steady work and the accolades are piling up.
4. Vi is walking up a storm, has been through a biting phase (at least we were her only victims), and loves her big sister!
5. We have had such a memorable summer! In chronological order: Christa's parents' rented a cottage and we went up for 2 days. Then Brent (Ben's next oldest brother) and Sarah were married. Then we took Mike (Ben's oldest brother from Texas), Dawn, Aidan, and Danica to my brother's cottage. All of this in 2 weeks. Ro missed 2 of her last 4 days of school. :) Then in July we went to the Rawson's family cottage. 2 days later, 3 moms and 8 kids spent 4 days and 3 nights at my dear cousin's cottage. Ro has had outdoor swimming lessons spattered throughout. Phew! I l.o.v.e. up north SO much so I feel totally filled and refreshed.

The Smith clan at Brent and Sarah's wedding, June, 2012

Brent and Sarah, tying the knot, June 2012

Enjoying family time in the Muskokas, June 2012

With Christa in the Muskokas, June 2012

The original 3 musketeers (my amazing 2 cousins and myself). Yes, we were having "wacky hair" dinner. 

7 of the 8 offspring. The best pic I could get. :)

6. I have read a bunch of good books as of late and I'm back running and I'm having some chronic neck/back issues addressed by a woman we adore.
7. OLYMPICS. Need I say more.

There will be some posts to expand on some of these things in the near future.

Now to get to the topic of this post: schooling.

Note: here is my disclaimer. I am a passionate, pretty level-headed, prone to craziness, spontaneous wife and mother. I take these 2 roles seriously and spend much time thinking, praying, talking, and reading in my quest to be the best I can be. I can be opinionated, but I strive to be open-minded. In all things I strive to love God and love everyone around me and model this for my family. Before becoming a mother, I was an educator and advocate of the public school system. This does not come as a surprise to most of you, but now we can all say you are up tobspped with what makes me tick.

Ro starts SK in a matter of weeks. (Where has the summer gone?) Her school is slated to start the full-day early learning program (also known as full-time kindergarten) this fall. I spent much of Ro's JK observation time talking with her teacher, getting her read on the curriculum and how she would implement it. With this big change coming up, Ben and I, as of late, have been talking more and more about school in the fall and concerns I have, not only for Ro, but for our family. I thought I might share them with you and where this crazy process has taken us.

Thoughts:
1. Vi is very attached to Ro. When Ro is in another room, Vi calls for her. Vi asks for Ro first thing in the morning when I get her out of bed. She is smitten, infatuated, in love. We all think it is pretty great. With Ro gone all day in the fall, everyday, I'm going to have one sad Vi on my hands. :(
2. Ben reminded me that Ro started preschool around 26 months of age, mainly for socialization, and that we should probably give Vi the same opportunity. When I called Ro's former preschool, they have a substantial waiting list, and the minimum commitment is now 3 mornings per week, not 2 like it was for Ro. That's more $$$$, and more time away from me.
3. Ben has a very, how shall I put it, insane, not family-friendly unpredictable work schedule. Last year, Ro was only at school 2 or 3 days per week so they could still see each other quite a bit when he was home. That wouldn't be the story this fall, though we know we could keep her home some days to hang with Daddy. Gotta love the mental health days. :)
4. The new full-day early learning program is play-based (which I love). Ive always thought this is how young children learn best. However, how it is implemented is left to the teacher's discretion. There seems to be a continuum in the approach taken to "play-based". Some educators are tackling the curriculum and day with a balanced approach (some whole group activities, like circle time, some play-based instruction, some free play) while others are taking what I call a "full-hog" play approach (for example, snack table set up all day so kids can eat whenever they want, no circle time, etc.). I'm a teacher. I get it. I have no problem with different approaches. My concern is with the following year, grade 1. The steps taken to make the curriculum child-centred in the early years stop at the end of SK. This makes a huge discrepancy in learning environments for these 5 and 6 year olds. Now, Ro is a firecracker, motivated, and can roll with the punches. Again, we could make this work. It's just something that REALLY bothers me as an educator and a parent.
5. I really believe in learning through experiences relevant to kids' developmental stages and previous experiences. We want learning to be a joy and a natural process for Ro, learning through inquiry. We want to give her lots of opportunities to see the world, to learn who God has made her to be, to explore service and loving sacrificially.

As we've been talking through these things, Ben, somewhat randomly, raised the idea of us teaching Ro. This was a big deal, mainly because Ben and I have always been pretty anti-homeschooling. Come on, you have to admit it. Often you can pick out the people who were homeschooled. It used to be reserved for those families with 5+ children, who all have long hair and long dresses, who want to protect their children from the "world". As a consequence, these homeschooled kids are socially impaired interesting. We didn't talk anymore about the idea that night, but the seed planted in that conversation quickly grew into a sapling. I started to brew the idea in my head and pray like mad. Here were my thoughts:

More thoughts:
1. I really enjoy teaching. I miss it. Educating Ro would give me an opportunity to use those skills in a more intentional, regular way once again.
2. We could weave the spiritual into our discussions (since spirituality is a huge part of the child neglected at public school and our faith is so important to us).
3. If it proves to be a flop, Ro could go to kindergarten anytime during the year and we could call the experiment what it was, an experiment that didn't work out (swallowing pride at this point).
4. It is KINDERGARTEN. She doesn't legally have to attend as it is.
5. It seemed like a perfect year to give it a try.
6. How would I keep our extrovert's social tendencies satiated?
7. How would I help our high energy girl expel that energy like she so naturally does at recess?
8. Vi will be missing out on "mommy time" like Ro had, uninterrupted, for 3 years.
9. I've got a lot of balls in the air as it is, without adding another role.
10. This process is not rooted in me thinking I am a better educator than anyone else.

I wanted to talk to a couple of people whose opinion I respect and value - one, a fellow educator, early learning facilitator, and dear cousin; 2 others who are dear friends, who know me, good and bad; another couple who are straight shooters and would tell us their thoughts, holding nothing back. And it seemed God was choosing to use those around me to show me his thoughts - everyone was overwhelmingly supportive and had the same thoughts/concerns as us, and everyone said we should go for it.

When Ben and I were able to grab more than 5 minutes together last Thursday night, we came to the same conclusion. We have nothing to lose. Let's got for it. The last step was talking to Ro about what we were thinking. To be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous. I wanted her to know that her opinion was going to be valued and listened to, but not necessarily the determining factor. After a 3 second "but I'm going to miss the kids at school!!!", she quickly expressed her joy in not having to miss me (TALK ABOUT MELTING A MAMA'S HEART!!!), and then started to ask when she could be special helper, if we would also have a gotcha jar, if Vi could be special helper AFTER her, when and what field trips were we going to take. Bottom line: she was on board. This doesn't come as a huge surprise either for most of you - she's easily excitable. :)

WHAT??!!!! Yup, we are going to keep Ro home this year and learn as a family. I have no idea what that is going to look like as of yet. I have started to look at the program and think things through. I'm meeting with two other mom educators tomorrow. Most of all, we are all excited and can't wait to see where this wild ride takes us.

Here's to change and challenges,

Tam

what is on my mind

Ro and I, post-candy accumulation.

Our Fairy Princess

Our daughter, Looloo, is scheduled to join us in 6 weeks, 6 days (making her arrival December 20). Yes, we have a name picked out, and no, we aren't sharing it with anyone. You will all find out when Ben announces to the world her arrival. Now, to attempt to ensure I make it to December 20, I have been told to take it easy. For those who know me, taking it easy is not my forté. First of all, I have always been a person driven by to-do lists. I think it drives Ben crazy. That being said, he also likes the order it brings to our lives, so he has learned to smile at me as I eagerly check things off my lists. My lists have become quite lean, and I have learned to take several days to accomplish tasks that I would normally do in hours. I've also had to take things off the list and now Ben does them on the weekend (like cut the grass, vacuum, lift things, etc.).
This has proven to be VERY difficult. First, I don't want Ben's weekends to be about cleaning when I am home all week. He works so hard during the week already; it doesn't seem fair. His weekends should be about resting and enjoying his family. Second, "taking it easy" makes me feel lazy. I like to work hard. This work ethic has been engrained in my psyche. Some of my self-worth is equated to what I accomplish in a day. So when I am laying in bed at night (by 9), and think, "well, I checked my email, read some of a great book, sat with my feet up, watched a movie with my daughter, and cleaned up after meals", I feel guilty and worthless. "It was such a beautiful fall day, and we WATCHED A MOVIE INSIDE??!!" Again, I am saying these things to myself, and I'm just following what Ben asked me to do - take it easy and watch a movie with Ro. Ro loved it. But I continue to beat myself up.
Third, due to the generosity of a friend and the cooperation of Ro's school, Ro has been able to attend preschool for 2 full days per week instead of 2 half days per week. Again, I feel guilty. Ro loves preschool, but when she says she doesn't want to go, or when she says she would rather be home with me all day, I wonder what kind of mom I am becoming. We chose to have me stay home with Ro because that is what we felt was best for her and our family. That being said, I have to remember that I love her preschool, and respect her teachers. She likes to play with the other kids. They have circle time, do crafts, play outside, eat healthy snacks and lunches, and explore the world around them through play.
Then I remember this is all for a period of time. Ro finishes full-days at the end of November. I will once again be able to do things by myself, without help. Yes, the period of time is now extended because of my need for a Caesarean, but again, it is just a period of time. Yes, all of our lives will be turned upside down with the arrival of Looloo, and things will change again, but these changes will all be for the better.
Phew. Thanks for listening to my mind dump. And through all of this, I know God loves me. I know He is in control. I know He will take care of each member of my family. I trust Him with all these little details. Thanks, God, for helping me be able to laugh at myself. :)