wild ride...

...or rough week. It was a difficult decision which phrase to use to describe our first week. Let me give you some background. Ro and I are programmed quite similarly: we have TONS of energy, we need our sleep, we love intensely, we play hard, we are recovering perfectionists, we take risks if success is the known end result, we have our  own sense of fashion (today Ro wore a floral patterned top in browns and greens with pink plaid shorts), we LOVE food, and the list goes on....

An example of Ro's fashion sense - pink graphic t with striped long-sleeved shirt underneath. I likey!!

Some of these overlap with Ben: he loves intensely, he plays hard, he is a perfectionist, he has his own sense of fashion, he LOVES food... You can imagine how these are amplified in Ro since they are in her genes times two. Poor girl. :)

Our first two days pretty much sucked. Seriously. Ro didn't really want to cooperate and started acting beyond silly, followed by me losing my patience and telling her to shut up two days in a row. We were accomplishing things, but not joyfully. In fact, I texted Ben yesterday saying, "Ro is going to school". Later in the day (MUCH later), I was able to reflect on what had happened. Ro's fear of not doing something perfectly came to mind, as did my desire to make this schooling experience awesome. Why wasn't Ro acting like this was awesome? Why were we getting so frustrated with each other? Why did I tell her to shut up two days in a row? I came up with some reasons:

1. Our perfectionist tendencies were butting heads and I didn't see it. Go ahead and laugh. I don't now why it took me so long to figure this out, but it did. 
2. Ro's hesitance to cooperate was partially rooted in her fear of what she viewed as failure and disappointing me.
3. A part of me was fighting this homeschooling decision. With children going back to school this week, I kept fantasizing about life with only one at home - only one's needs, one's mess, one's noise. I was thinking the grass was greener elsewhere and I was fighting finding the joy in our present circumstances. A good friend pointed that out, indirectly, last night while she was sharing about her new adventure: "This is a leap of faith for me...I kind of had to look it in the face today (with trembling heart) and say "okay. If this is what You want, there must be joy for me here."" Wow. Talk about a slap in the face for me (though she did not mean it that way). I was purposefully avoiding joy. It was like I was subconsciously fighting enjoying this. When will I learn to stop fighting God and just follow Him? I've had affirmation after affirmation about our schooling decision. What more could a girl ask for?

Well, today felt like a fresh start. We enjoyed our time together. There were smiles all around, and no tears. We had fun discovering that there is indeed a star inside an apple, that there are lots of words to describe apples, that the number 8 is very difficult to print, even in crazy heat the park is a great place to play with friends, and that we love reading together (though we knew some of these things before). 

Here's to living filled with grace and mercy,
Tam

we're BAAAACK...with news!

5 months. Has it really been that long since my last post? Lots can happen in 5 months - one can be approaching full-term in pregnancy, one is almost a half-year older, one can have enjoyed a summer vacation and be starting the next grade ... or one could not have blogged for that long. I fit into the last category. You?

Let me give you a quick recap and bring you up to speed:
1. I am still using the curly hair method and LOVE it (though I am currently in need of a haircut)!!!!
2. Ro finished JK and had an amazing year (which we are so thankful for).

Ro, 4 1/2 years, and Vi, 1/2 years. 

3. Ben is working on a new CBC show, Cracked. What a year he has had! As a  first assistant (or focus puller to our US friends), he has had steady work and the accolades are piling up.
4. Vi is walking up a storm, has been through a biting phase (at least we were her only victims), and loves her big sister!
5. We have had such a memorable summer! In chronological order: Christa's parents' rented a cottage and we went up for 2 days. Then Brent (Ben's next oldest brother) and Sarah were married. Then we took Mike (Ben's oldest brother from Texas), Dawn, Aidan, and Danica to my brother's cottage. All of this in 2 weeks. Ro missed 2 of her last 4 days of school. :) Then in July we went to the Rawson's family cottage. 2 days later, 3 moms and 8 kids spent 4 days and 3 nights at my dear cousin's cottage. Ro has had outdoor swimming lessons spattered throughout. Phew! I l.o.v.e. up north SO much so I feel totally filled and refreshed.

The Smith clan at Brent and Sarah's wedding, June, 2012

Brent and Sarah, tying the knot, June 2012

Enjoying family time in the Muskokas, June 2012

With Christa in the Muskokas, June 2012

The original 3 musketeers (my amazing 2 cousins and myself). Yes, we were having "wacky hair" dinner. 

7 of the 8 offspring. The best pic I could get. :)

6. I have read a bunch of good books as of late and I'm back running and I'm having some chronic neck/back issues addressed by a woman we adore.
7. OLYMPICS. Need I say more.

There will be some posts to expand on some of these things in the near future.

Now to get to the topic of this post: schooling.

Note: here is my disclaimer. I am a passionate, pretty level-headed, prone to craziness, spontaneous wife and mother. I take these 2 roles seriously and spend much time thinking, praying, talking, and reading in my quest to be the best I can be. I can be opinionated, but I strive to be open-minded. In all things I strive to love God and love everyone around me and model this for my family. Before becoming a mother, I was an educator and advocate of the public school system. This does not come as a surprise to most of you, but now we can all say you are up tobspped with what makes me tick.

Ro starts SK in a matter of weeks. (Where has the summer gone?) Her school is slated to start the full-day early learning program (also known as full-time kindergarten) this fall. I spent much of Ro's JK observation time talking with her teacher, getting her read on the curriculum and how she would implement it. With this big change coming up, Ben and I, as of late, have been talking more and more about school in the fall and concerns I have, not only for Ro, but for our family. I thought I might share them with you and where this crazy process has taken us.

Thoughts:
1. Vi is very attached to Ro. When Ro is in another room, Vi calls for her. Vi asks for Ro first thing in the morning when I get her out of bed. She is smitten, infatuated, in love. We all think it is pretty great. With Ro gone all day in the fall, everyday, I'm going to have one sad Vi on my hands. :(
2. Ben reminded me that Ro started preschool around 26 months of age, mainly for socialization, and that we should probably give Vi the same opportunity. When I called Ro's former preschool, they have a substantial waiting list, and the minimum commitment is now 3 mornings per week, not 2 like it was for Ro. That's more $$$$, and more time away from me.
3. Ben has a very, how shall I put it, insane, not family-friendly unpredictable work schedule. Last year, Ro was only at school 2 or 3 days per week so they could still see each other quite a bit when he was home. That wouldn't be the story this fall, though we know we could keep her home some days to hang with Daddy. Gotta love the mental health days. :)
4. The new full-day early learning program is play-based (which I love). Ive always thought this is how young children learn best. However, how it is implemented is left to the teacher's discretion. There seems to be a continuum in the approach taken to "play-based". Some educators are tackling the curriculum and day with a balanced approach (some whole group activities, like circle time, some play-based instruction, some free play) while others are taking what I call a "full-hog" play approach (for example, snack table set up all day so kids can eat whenever they want, no circle time, etc.). I'm a teacher. I get it. I have no problem with different approaches. My concern is with the following year, grade 1. The steps taken to make the curriculum child-centred in the early years stop at the end of SK. This makes a huge discrepancy in learning environments for these 5 and 6 year olds. Now, Ro is a firecracker, motivated, and can roll with the punches. Again, we could make this work. It's just something that REALLY bothers me as an educator and a parent.
5. I really believe in learning through experiences relevant to kids' developmental stages and previous experiences. We want learning to be a joy and a natural process for Ro, learning through inquiry. We want to give her lots of opportunities to see the world, to learn who God has made her to be, to explore service and loving sacrificially.

As we've been talking through these things, Ben, somewhat randomly, raised the idea of us teaching Ro. This was a big deal, mainly because Ben and I have always been pretty anti-homeschooling. Come on, you have to admit it. Often you can pick out the people who were homeschooled. It used to be reserved for those families with 5+ children, who all have long hair and long dresses, who want to protect their children from the "world". As a consequence, these homeschooled kids are socially impaired interesting. We didn't talk anymore about the idea that night, but the seed planted in that conversation quickly grew into a sapling. I started to brew the idea in my head and pray like mad. Here were my thoughts:

More thoughts:
1. I really enjoy teaching. I miss it. Educating Ro would give me an opportunity to use those skills in a more intentional, regular way once again.
2. We could weave the spiritual into our discussions (since spirituality is a huge part of the child neglected at public school and our faith is so important to us).
3. If it proves to be a flop, Ro could go to kindergarten anytime during the year and we could call the experiment what it was, an experiment that didn't work out (swallowing pride at this point).
4. It is KINDERGARTEN. She doesn't legally have to attend as it is.
5. It seemed like a perfect year to give it a try.
6. How would I keep our extrovert's social tendencies satiated?
7. How would I help our high energy girl expel that energy like she so naturally does at recess?
8. Vi will be missing out on "mommy time" like Ro had, uninterrupted, for 3 years.
9. I've got a lot of balls in the air as it is, without adding another role.
10. This process is not rooted in me thinking I am a better educator than anyone else.

I wanted to talk to a couple of people whose opinion I respect and value - one, a fellow educator, early learning facilitator, and dear cousin; 2 others who are dear friends, who know me, good and bad; another couple who are straight shooters and would tell us their thoughts, holding nothing back. And it seemed God was choosing to use those around me to show me his thoughts - everyone was overwhelmingly supportive and had the same thoughts/concerns as us, and everyone said we should go for it.

When Ben and I were able to grab more than 5 minutes together last Thursday night, we came to the same conclusion. We have nothing to lose. Let's got for it. The last step was talking to Ro about what we were thinking. To be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous. I wanted her to know that her opinion was going to be valued and listened to, but not necessarily the determining factor. After a 3 second "but I'm going to miss the kids at school!!!", she quickly expressed her joy in not having to miss me (TALK ABOUT MELTING A MAMA'S HEART!!!), and then started to ask when she could be special helper, if we would also have a gotcha jar, if Vi could be special helper AFTER her, when and what field trips were we going to take. Bottom line: she was on board. This doesn't come as a huge surprise either for most of you - she's easily excitable. :)

WHAT??!!!! Yup, we are going to keep Ro home this year and learn as a family. I have no idea what that is going to look like as of yet. I have started to look at the program and think things through. I'm meeting with two other mom educators tomorrow. Most of all, we are all excited and can't wait to see where this wild ride takes us.

Here's to change and challenges,

Tam

let's talk about ... money?

Did any of you ever talk about money or finances with your parents growing up? Did anyone's parents ever model budgeting or balancing your account? I grew up in a household where we had enough money for most of our needs, with very little, or any, leftover for wants. Don't get me wrong. There were gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but financially, things were simpler. Food for holidays consisted of mixed nuts, veggie trays with dip, chips and dip, turkey, roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, pies, Christmas baking. I remember lunches of a sandwich, maybe a cookie, and an apple. We could drink water out of the school fountain. In highschool my lunch of choice was Melba toast, a carrot, and an apple. When the money ran out for the month, there was no credit card for overextending ourselves or living beyond our means. Mom and Dad gave money away at the beginning of the month to ensure it was there to give, instead of waiting until other obligations were met. We always had enough.

Fast forward 20-25 years. Here I sit with 2 children of my own, more aware than ever of the imbalance of resources in our world. In fact, check out The Global Rich List for 2011 and see where you rank. We sit in the top .37% richest people in the world. That's mind blowing. It is imbalance. How has this happened? Why does this continue to happen? We can ask ourselves these questions, but the biggest question is WHAT AM I DOING ABOUT IT? And to answer "nothing" or spew some excuse is not acceptable. To say there will always be the poor is disgusting. Period.

A daily refocus is required. A true evaluation of "want" and "need" is essential. Education of our children is imperative. A heart broken for those around is critical. Jesus' heart and eyes is a prayerful necessity. So again I ask, what are we doing? We need to be openly communicating about these things, challenging each other, holding each other accountable. Here are some steps we all can take:

1. How much food do we waste each month? Food that rots in our fridge because we forgot about it, or didn't want to eat it as leftovers, or we didn't feel like making dinner? Only in our wealthy homes do we think such things. Make a menu plan for the week so we have less waste. For example, overlap ingredients so that if you are making something that calls for 1/2 onion, find another recipe that will use the other half. Yes, this takes some tine and effort to get your head thinking in these terms, but it is worth it to free up money to give away, and it is environmentally responsible.

2. Eat simply. We have been programmed to think variety is a necessity, that exotic foods are better, that rich foods are more delicious. Spices and herbs can really kick up a meal. There is nothing wrong with eating foods that are found in your neck of the woods (read The 100 Mile Diet for more on this). Again, an environmentally responsible move, a challenge, but eating simpler will again free up resources.

3. Make a reasonable budget and stick with it. This is not as difficult as some make it out to be. Download bank statements online for the last 6 months and see how much you have spending on what. Do a gut check. Are we spending too much on eating out? On clothing? On entertainment? Do my kids really need 10 pairs of pants for the new season? You see my drift. We need to ask the tough questions and do the soul search to find your own answer. What is right for some, what works for some, might not work for everyone. Ask someone you respect and trust for input. Jesus is happy to help.

4. TALK TO OUR KIDS ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND THEM. They can handle it. But please, do it in a developmentally appropriate way. You know your child. Use the wisdom you have to make wise choices and have good discussions. Just 3 days ago, Ro and I watched a video put together by friends at The Meeting House and talked about the images we saw - what people were wearing or not wearing, how people moved around (walking), what their homes were like (mud huts), what their hospital was like, etc. What moved my future doctor was the state of their hospital and the lack of technology. Kids need hooks to hang ideas off of. So do we. From there, we talked about what we can do to help (some examples included sponsor a child, give money to organizations that have workers on the ground who can help provide aid, food, medicine, water, etc., change how we spend money so we have more to give away, adoption). Because Ro is so interested in money right now, Ben and I decided to give Ro money each week for completing helpful chores (make her bed, put her pajamas away, clear the table, put her toys away, put her dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, and deal with her school stuff on school days). She does some of these things sporadically, some things she already does every day. We talked about the purpose of this with Ro. Not only does it teach the "family mentality" (I'm part of this family so I can do my part), we are going to teach her about saving, about spending, about being generous. I'm excited about laying this foundation with her, and how this will also keep me mindful while managing our household finances.

We have such a long way to go, but we cannot close our eyes, plug our ears, sink into societal numbness. We must do all we can, and we must do it now. Join us? It's our prayer that we do so, humbling ourselves, joining together with sisters and brothers.

What are we doing?
Tam