we're BAAAACK...with news!

5 months. Has it really been that long since my last post? Lots can happen in 5 months - one can be approaching full-term in pregnancy, one is almost a half-year older, one can have enjoyed a summer vacation and be starting the next grade ... or one could not have blogged for that long. I fit into the last category. You?

Let me give you a quick recap and bring you up to speed:
1. I am still using the curly hair method and LOVE it (though I am currently in need of a haircut)!!!!
2. Ro finished JK and had an amazing year (which we are so thankful for).

Ro, 4 1/2 years, and Vi, 1/2 years. 

3. Ben is working on a new CBC show, Cracked. What a year he has had! As a  first assistant (or focus puller to our US friends), he has had steady work and the accolades are piling up.
4. Vi is walking up a storm, has been through a biting phase (at least we were her only victims), and loves her big sister!
5. We have had such a memorable summer! In chronological order: Christa's parents' rented a cottage and we went up for 2 days. Then Brent (Ben's next oldest brother) and Sarah were married. Then we took Mike (Ben's oldest brother from Texas), Dawn, Aidan, and Danica to my brother's cottage. All of this in 2 weeks. Ro missed 2 of her last 4 days of school. :) Then in July we went to the Rawson's family cottage. 2 days later, 3 moms and 8 kids spent 4 days and 3 nights at my dear cousin's cottage. Ro has had outdoor swimming lessons spattered throughout. Phew! I l.o.v.e. up north SO much so I feel totally filled and refreshed.

The Smith clan at Brent and Sarah's wedding, June, 2012

Brent and Sarah, tying the knot, June 2012

Enjoying family time in the Muskokas, June 2012

With Christa in the Muskokas, June 2012

The original 3 musketeers (my amazing 2 cousins and myself). Yes, we were having "wacky hair" dinner. 

7 of the 8 offspring. The best pic I could get. :)

6. I have read a bunch of good books as of late and I'm back running and I'm having some chronic neck/back issues addressed by a woman we adore.
7. OLYMPICS. Need I say more.

There will be some posts to expand on some of these things in the near future.

Now to get to the topic of this post: schooling.

Note: here is my disclaimer. I am a passionate, pretty level-headed, prone to craziness, spontaneous wife and mother. I take these 2 roles seriously and spend much time thinking, praying, talking, and reading in my quest to be the best I can be. I can be opinionated, but I strive to be open-minded. In all things I strive to love God and love everyone around me and model this for my family. Before becoming a mother, I was an educator and advocate of the public school system. This does not come as a surprise to most of you, but now we can all say you are up tobspped with what makes me tick.

Ro starts SK in a matter of weeks. (Where has the summer gone?) Her school is slated to start the full-day early learning program (also known as full-time kindergarten) this fall. I spent much of Ro's JK observation time talking with her teacher, getting her read on the curriculum and how she would implement it. With this big change coming up, Ben and I, as of late, have been talking more and more about school in the fall and concerns I have, not only for Ro, but for our family. I thought I might share them with you and where this crazy process has taken us.

Thoughts:
1. Vi is very attached to Ro. When Ro is in another room, Vi calls for her. Vi asks for Ro first thing in the morning when I get her out of bed. She is smitten, infatuated, in love. We all think it is pretty great. With Ro gone all day in the fall, everyday, I'm going to have one sad Vi on my hands. :(
2. Ben reminded me that Ro started preschool around 26 months of age, mainly for socialization, and that we should probably give Vi the same opportunity. When I called Ro's former preschool, they have a substantial waiting list, and the minimum commitment is now 3 mornings per week, not 2 like it was for Ro. That's more $$$$, and more time away from me.
3. Ben has a very, how shall I put it, insane, not family-friendly unpredictable work schedule. Last year, Ro was only at school 2 or 3 days per week so they could still see each other quite a bit when he was home. That wouldn't be the story this fall, though we know we could keep her home some days to hang with Daddy. Gotta love the mental health days. :)
4. The new full-day early learning program is play-based (which I love). Ive always thought this is how young children learn best. However, how it is implemented is left to the teacher's discretion. There seems to be a continuum in the approach taken to "play-based". Some educators are tackling the curriculum and day with a balanced approach (some whole group activities, like circle time, some play-based instruction, some free play) while others are taking what I call a "full-hog" play approach (for example, snack table set up all day so kids can eat whenever they want, no circle time, etc.). I'm a teacher. I get it. I have no problem with different approaches. My concern is with the following year, grade 1. The steps taken to make the curriculum child-centred in the early years stop at the end of SK. This makes a huge discrepancy in learning environments for these 5 and 6 year olds. Now, Ro is a firecracker, motivated, and can roll with the punches. Again, we could make this work. It's just something that REALLY bothers me as an educator and a parent.
5. I really believe in learning through experiences relevant to kids' developmental stages and previous experiences. We want learning to be a joy and a natural process for Ro, learning through inquiry. We want to give her lots of opportunities to see the world, to learn who God has made her to be, to explore service and loving sacrificially.

As we've been talking through these things, Ben, somewhat randomly, raised the idea of us teaching Ro. This was a big deal, mainly because Ben and I have always been pretty anti-homeschooling. Come on, you have to admit it. Often you can pick out the people who were homeschooled. It used to be reserved for those families with 5+ children, who all have long hair and long dresses, who want to protect their children from the "world". As a consequence, these homeschooled kids are socially impaired interesting. We didn't talk anymore about the idea that night, but the seed planted in that conversation quickly grew into a sapling. I started to brew the idea in my head and pray like mad. Here were my thoughts:

More thoughts:
1. I really enjoy teaching. I miss it. Educating Ro would give me an opportunity to use those skills in a more intentional, regular way once again.
2. We could weave the spiritual into our discussions (since spirituality is a huge part of the child neglected at public school and our faith is so important to us).
3. If it proves to be a flop, Ro could go to kindergarten anytime during the year and we could call the experiment what it was, an experiment that didn't work out (swallowing pride at this point).
4. It is KINDERGARTEN. She doesn't legally have to attend as it is.
5. It seemed like a perfect year to give it a try.
6. How would I keep our extrovert's social tendencies satiated?
7. How would I help our high energy girl expel that energy like she so naturally does at recess?
8. Vi will be missing out on "mommy time" like Ro had, uninterrupted, for 3 years.
9. I've got a lot of balls in the air as it is, without adding another role.
10. This process is not rooted in me thinking I am a better educator than anyone else.

I wanted to talk to a couple of people whose opinion I respect and value - one, a fellow educator, early learning facilitator, and dear cousin; 2 others who are dear friends, who know me, good and bad; another couple who are straight shooters and would tell us their thoughts, holding nothing back. And it seemed God was choosing to use those around me to show me his thoughts - everyone was overwhelmingly supportive and had the same thoughts/concerns as us, and everyone said we should go for it.

When Ben and I were able to grab more than 5 minutes together last Thursday night, we came to the same conclusion. We have nothing to lose. Let's got for it. The last step was talking to Ro about what we were thinking. To be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous. I wanted her to know that her opinion was going to be valued and listened to, but not necessarily the determining factor. After a 3 second "but I'm going to miss the kids at school!!!", she quickly expressed her joy in not having to miss me (TALK ABOUT MELTING A MAMA'S HEART!!!), and then started to ask when she could be special helper, if we would also have a gotcha jar, if Vi could be special helper AFTER her, when and what field trips were we going to take. Bottom line: she was on board. This doesn't come as a huge surprise either for most of you - she's easily excitable. :)

WHAT??!!!! Yup, we are going to keep Ro home this year and learn as a family. I have no idea what that is going to look like as of yet. I have started to look at the program and think things through. I'm meeting with two other mom educators tomorrow. Most of all, we are all excited and can't wait to see where this wild ride takes us.

Here's to change and challenges,

Tam

Reflecting on Vi's first year...

Disclaimer: this post has been done for a while, but just needed pictures added. Here they are, and here is the post. An explanation will follow shortly. 

Wow! I can't believe little Vi has been with us for a year. It doesn't seem possible. If I think hard enough, I can still recreate the c-section pains I don't wish on anyone (well, not really, but it seems like just yesterday she was born). What a year it has been...

In some ways, life has been easier than I thought. Vi is laid back and can roll with whatever is happening. She took many a nap at The Little Gym while Ro danced and did gymnastics, at the park while Ro played, at church so Ro could experience consistent teachers and friends. Vi is equally happy reading books, singing songs, or running errands with her ever-busy mom. Vi hasn't been too concerned about moving about. She is currently in bum scooting mode, just starting to accept weight on her legs and feet. :) Vi could nurse anywhere and was content to just "be".

In other ways, this year has been hard. Ben has had one of his busiest years EVER (good for us financially, bad for our family) which means he hasn't been around much. Having another daughter to care for and meet her needs has been tiring, draining, and trying at times. It seems like we always have a million things to do. This often gets in the way of our social calendar and just hanging out. We've missed our peeps (the Eastons) - we could chill with those guys, here or there, share a meal, hand off kids, etc. Not having them around has added a layer of "mommy loneliness" to my life.

Vi has been incredible - her joy, smile, laughter, charm, coy grin, wave of her hand - win everyone over. She adores her big sister, and is adored in return. I love hugging her, snuggling her, having her head against my shoulder, her hand in mine. Her babbling and words that she rhymes off brighten my day. Her love warms my heart.

Two is busy, and there have been times I have found it difficult to enjoy my time with them. This makes me feel INCREDIBLY guilty. That being said, this year has been one of the greatest journeys I have endeavoured to undertake. I am honored to be Vi and Ro's mom, and Ben's wife. There is no where I would rather be.

Vi, we love you. You have completed our family.

Happy New Year,
Tam

take that, my "not-so-crafty" tendency!

If I am being totally honest with myself, and you, I would have to admit that I am not very crafty...at all. I don't have great visions of space. I don't see how materials will come together in a finished product. I love colour but don't have a clear sense of what compliments each other, what looks right together. I have little crafting skill. That all being said, I know what I like. I like clean lines. I like symmetry. I like modern and rustic and melding them together. I like black and white, and I like colour. I like simple.

Then I had two daughters. I resisted the girlie. I was not girlie, never was girlie, never will be girlie. Our oldest daughter's nursery was very neutral - green, animal bedding, black and white photos, black frames. We succeeded in not giving any hint to our firstborn's gender through decorating (though we did tell everyone we were having a girl anyway). And even though her nursery was as neutral as they come, Ro still turned into a child who loves pink and purple, who loves princesses, who loves pretty dresses. She loves hearts and flowers.

Then we found out we were having another girl. I threw all resistance to the wind and embraced the fact. I got a floral diaper bag (much to Ben's chagrin). I now have an appreciation for the girlie, whimsical things in life. Take Vi's room - it has a butterfly theme, thanks to a discount roll of butterfly wall stickers found at Pottery Barn Kids. Then our friend, Maria, lent us an awesome bumper (pinks, blues, yellows, checks...all things lovely) and skirt thingy (white with embroidered nature items - grass, bugs, etc.) for our kijiji-find maple crib. We hung a girlie piece of art I found at Home Sense (purple, checks, glittery flowers, butterflies) and we were ready for Vi to enter the world.

Well, today, I found these butterfly "ornaments" at Terra (one of my favourite stores - a great mix of garden, furniture, decorating items, plants, LOVE IT!!).

As soon as I saw them, I thought I would add them to Vi's room somehow. A woman who worked there suggested hanging them on Vi's curtains, but at $6.99 a pop (or a butterfly), that was a little too rich for my blood. I bought three (because I have been told everything looks better in odd number groupings) and was contemplating their use. Then I remembered I had pinned a craft I liked on pinterest:

Source: theparishfam.blogspot.com via Tammy on Pinterest

and thought I would suspend the butterflies from a wire, but I didn't have an old frame kicking around. Then I had this epiphany. We had an old window frame that used to hang in our dining room, that we have had in storage for a while. My idea was to hang the butterflies in the different panes of the frame. Genius, right? 

Okay, some of you are wondering what the big whoop is, but I have had very few successes like this in my life and this made my day. Well, it probably has made my week (but I can't guarantee this as it is only Wednesday evening).

Look out world! There is a new crafting genius waiting to break out of her shell,
Tam

next steps as a family

Ben and I take our role as parents to two amazing girls very seriously. We are quite intentional about choices we make with our daughters and sometimes for our daughters. We know that the girls we help them become now, determines the 8 year olds, 12 year olds, 17 year olds, 21 year olds they will later become. It is too late to wait until they are older.

What do we want for our girls? What kind of women do we pray they become? Strong, yet humble women. Women who are confident in who God has made them. Other-centred risk-takers, who shrug at the comforts around them, and live lives that further God's kingdom. Women who impact their sphere, and are continually looking for ways to protect others and the environment. Respectful women who deeply love and are deeply loved. Women full of compassion and empathy, who are peacemakers wherever they go. Do we have big dreams for our girls? You bet. But we believe these are God's dreams for our girls.

On our quest to raise other-centred, respectful girls, girls who don't need to feel comfortable all the time, we have felt God asking us to change some things. One of the things we are going to change is how we approach birthdays and Christmas. I don't know about you, but I love to buy gifts for people, to see the excitement and happiness they exude when they open a thought-filled gift. To me, it is a great way to show love. I still remember my first Swatch from my parents, I remember surprising Ben with a camera, and Ro's excitement and enthusiasm over gifts is contagious! On the downside, and I don't know why, but I have sometimes equated people's love for me with the gift they have bought me (okay, mainly my husband). The more gifts or the bigger the gift, the more I have felt loved. That's not right. I know my husband loves me regardless of the gift.

As we head into birthday season (Ben - November 9, Ro - December 3, Vi - December 20, me - December 26) and the Christmas season, we are committed to showing love in different ways. We are not going to give gifts this year. Let's face it. We all have everything we need. Instead, we are going to raise money to buy food for hungry Canadian families through World Vision. We are going to be asking our friends and family to get on board with this (if they choose to and I know some have already bought gifts - which is fine) - instead of buying gifts for any of us, we are going to ask that they donate money so that we can feed as many hungry Canadian families as we can. When 1 in 8 kids don't have enough to eat, we need to act.

As Ro and I sat with the World Vision catalogue, it was extremely difficult to decide which cause to support. We loved watching the videos online of how chickens, fish farms, and goats can change a family's life...forever. But there was something about the picture of the mom and her two kids ("Mom, look, the baby looks like Vi!") and knowing that there are kids around her that don't have enough food to eat that drew Ro in. She has a tender heart - I so love that about her and pray that never changes.

So, our next step:
1. birthdays that celebrate each individual by spending time together and doing things together. Experiences, not gifts.
2. a Christmas tree with nothing underneath it.

I know there will be times when each of us will question this decision - buying gifts for those you love is ALL AROUND YOU EVERYWHERE as November turns into December. However, we will remind each other about what this life is really all about - giving our time, ourselves, our love, to each other. Loving our neighbour. Loving God.

Holding onto our hats. It's gonna be a fun ride!
Tam

Happy Hallowe'en? Bah humbug!

Okay, I need to get something off my chest. I really don't enjoy celebrating Hallowe'en. I know, I know. What's wrong with me, right? Ro LOVES Hallowe'en - the prospect of dressing up and getting candy blows her mind. Almost literally. So what is up with me and Hallowe'en?

First off, I'm not a super creative person, so coming up with ideas for costumes is killer, and then trying to implement said ideas pushes me over the edge. I've never been to a costume party or Hallowe'en party. To me, those endeavours would rub my "non-creative" lack of skills in my face and I don't need that. Period. Thank goodness for Winners, who bailed me out this year with Ro's Princess Kate dress. :) ADORABLE! And our dear friend, Christa, came up with the idea of the princess and the pea themed costumes since I already had the princess costume and pea costume (bought it last year for 75% off after Hallowe'en. Who knew an infant-sized costume would be too small for my 10 month old?)

And yes, I did cut holes in the bottom so she could fit into it. You could hardly tell when she was sitting. Really. Kind of. I tried to stuff all the stuffing back in. *Sigh*.

Ro saved my "idea black hole" for the mattress (yes, I dressed up as a mattress) by suggesting I wear Vi's change pad. A quick search online for Serta's logo, a little chalk and blue construction paper, and voila, I was the mattress in the princess and the pea.

Second, I don't enjoy spooky, scary stuff. I decorate with pumpkins, and we don't even carve scary faces. We don't even carve our pumpkins. I know, lame, huh? But Ro gets a lot of pleasure (can't you tell from her facial expression??) from sticking stickers all over her pumpkin and what mother could take that away from her child?? Not me. Maybe someday we will carve a pumpkin and roast the seeds. Maybe. But I have these not fun memories of trying to cut pumpkins with my mom, with a knife that wasn't quite sharp enough...

Third, trick-or-treating generally happens late at night (relatively speaking, for the Smiths). How early can one start? As soon as I hear another family, we are out the door. This year, we started at about 6:15. Good thing since I turn into a pumpkin when it gets dark. Now, that being said, Ro was in bed at her normal time, and Vi was only 20 minutes later than normal. And I didn't turn into a pumpkin after all. Phew.

Fourth, we all become candy/chocolate gluttons. We end up with tons of junk food. In fact, I had to throw out the remainder of last year's stash so I could use the bowl for this year's handouts.

However, here is what I do love about Hallowe'en:
1. I love being out with our neighbours, catching up, oohing and aahing at the little ones' costumes. I just wish I didn't have to dress my little ones up (see number one above). Sorry, I digress...
2. I love that it is in my favourite season, autumn.
3. I love that our town does a Tots on Parade thingy. We went for the first time this year, and it was awesome. All the downtown merchants buy candy and the young kiddies get to go around trick-or-treating at 10 am. Brilliant.
4. I love that my kid loves it. And that she is soooo cute in costume. And that she wanted to be Princess Kate. :) I didn't have the heart to tell her that isn't Kate's title. Whatever.

What I will do differently next year:
1. Plan ahead. I will plan on going to the downtown celebration so I'm not stressed out of my gourd trying to get there on time and find a parking spot. I will not worry if my youngest doesn't nap though covered in her stroller for 1 hour.
2. I will remember a Hallowe'en bag for said celebration. Using your mom's purse is kind of ghetto. I apologized to one merchant and he provided us with a bag. Much better.
3. I will try on everyone's costumes ahead of time. If I don't, I will not care that I find out then and there that Vi doesn't fit into her costume. She was stuffed into it anyway.
4. I will bring change with me so I can park anywhere, instead of having to squeeze into a free spot that just fit my Accord, with one wheel up on the sidewalk. Ro kept reminding me the wheel wasn't where it was supposed to be. I almost offered to let her park the car, but I figured I had nudged the beat up Rabbit ahead of me enough. It was beat up before I nudged it.
5. I will have a better attitude all day. Ro prayed that I would have more patience and more love in my heart (after I prompted her to do so) and we were able to salvage our day, but I want to enjoy the whole day next year.

Princess Kate, downtown.

Vi, loving life. 

I really do continue to live and learn,

Tam

patience and playing

I have to get this off my chest - 14 more sleeps!!! If you are wondering what I am referring to, check out my inner workings here. And yes, the excitement continues to mount (if that is at all possible).

I want to share something else too - I love my kids. I really do. Even after trying situations, shed tears, even (alas) screaming (not from me), I love my kids to the core of their being. They are amazing, beautiful, intelligent, caring, funny, sweet, understanding, passionate, energetic...BUT...there are times when I totally lose my cool. I find that these times are on the rise as of late. I can't really tell you why. I can only tell you that Rowyn rarely saw me lose my temper when she was my only little one. Now that I have two lovely noisemakers, I feel like I am being pulled apart at the seams at times. For my friends who have 3 plus kids, I am sure you are laughing your heads off right now. I am in awe of you and how you do what you do.

A friend shared with me the other day (maybe it was yesterday, but losing track of days is a highlight of being a stay-at-home-mom and also, it was her hubbie who first shared this thought) that maybe it isn't a bad thing for kids to see that there are limitations to everything - including mommy's grace and patience. I think I agree with this. What do you guys think? In the meantime, I continue to ask for forgiveness, communicate with my girls what is happening inside my head, and go to the Master of Patience for help. :)

I also have GREAT news to share. Vi has started to sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon!! I can't believe it and hope I haven't jinxed anything by sharing this. It has been 4 days now. I can get sooooo much done in those 2 hours. Last night as I lay in bed I felt convicted that perhaps I was letting an opportunity slide, an opportunity to spend quality time with my oldest. I awoke this morning resolved to remedy the situation. Fast forward to 1 pm. I ask Ro if she would like to play and she loudly yells "yes!" We grab her doll house and accompanying paraphernalia. Ro starts to play and I join her a couple of minutes later. I dive into the imaginary play, advancing the story that is being spun. After being told "no mom" 3 times, I asked Ro if she wanted to play by herself. She tried to sound polite when she said, "Mom, leave me alone please." Deflated, I asked if I could at least read beside her while she played. Ro graciously agreed. So much for playing with my 3 year old...

Giggling to myself (because that's all I can do) as I recount today's proceedings,
Tam

the long awaited sequel. aka camping, part deux.

Well, hello friends! I can't believe it is August already. Where did July go? We have been home 1 week since our last camping excursion, and I'm still tired. Perhaps my fatigue is just the regular, run-of-the-mill, parent fatigue, without any connection to camping. Regardless, my plan was to write last night, but instead found myself in bed at 8 pm. You are all thinking, "but why is she still tired?" Because I couldn't put my current read down. But I was asleep by 10 pm. Then Ro joined us at 5 am. *sigh*

Okay, I regress. Let's talk about camping, part deux. Overall, the trip was ......... (am I annoying you yet) .......... great. Really, it was. We had great weather during the day, cool nights, no rain, good friends, good food, good memories. Did we all have good sleep? No and yes. Here is our summary.

Night one: Mosquitoes not near as bad as previous week. Vi is asleep by 6:40. Mama might get an evening around the fire after all! Same child wakes up at 7:15 and stays awake until 11. We go in the tent around 10:30 and I nurse her in hopes this will lull her to sleep. Doesn't really work but she eventually falls asleep lying beside me on the ground (Ro took my spot on the air mattress - yet again). Ro keeps sliding off said mattress onto Vi which I think wakes Vi up at 2. She plays until 3. I nurse her again, in hopes this will lull her to sleep. Vi then wakes up at 5, raring to go. I nurse her again, in hopes this will lull her to sleep (do you see a pattern arising?). Again, no such luck. I decide we better get out of the tent so Ro and Ben can continue to sleep. By 8:30, we have walked Long Point Provincial Park for 2 hours, Ro has napped for 45 minutes, and she has nursed once again. In a 24 hour period, instead of nursing 4 times, Vi had nursed 8. There was no milk left. Period. I had had 4 hours sleep.

Needless to say, Vi napped 5 times on Tuesday. Mama napped for 10 minutes. Oh, let me also share that I got my first post-baby period too. AWESOME (not)! Ro was in the water for 7 hours. Her cheeks got a little crispy. I felt sick to my stomach, being sun cancer girl myself. How could we let this happen? We reapplied protection 4 times. She wore a hat. However, the brim was turned up. Let's just say it wasn't on Wednesday.

Night two: Vi is asleep by 8:10. She woke at 10:45, and we jiggled her stroller until she went back to sleep (it took about 1 hour). Ro slept on the ground, and we all slept solidly until Vi woke at 6:50. A good night's sleep felt amazing!

We had great campfires, fun at the beach, and Christa came for the day. Ro had her favourite thing - a family shower - before we left on Wednesday. Want to hear a funny story (not really)? Remember how I said I got my first post-baby period? Remember how I just mentioned a family shower? I had been without the monthly visitor for about 15 months. I had forgotten what it was like having a period and a curious toddler, now preschooler. Here is our conversation in the shower:

R: "Mom, there is something in your bagina!"
Minor panic sets in. I'm wondering what it could be. I look down. Are you kidding me? It's my tampon string. I quickly try to think of a diversion, or a lie. But I can't lie. I look at Ben and roll my eyes. I ask him for permission with the same eyes. He grants it, with a slight nod.
Me: "Well, it's a string for my tampon. When you get older, God made our bodies so they shed blood every month. A tampon is like a sponge that is inside your vagina that soaks up the blood."
I hold my breath, trying to prepare myself for what my 3 1/2 year old might come back with.
R: "Oh, okay."
I know this is going to come up at the least embarrassing time, for sure. How do I know she remembered? Fast forward about 20 minutes.
R: "What are those? Napkins?"
Anyone who knows my daughter knows she doesn't want to miss out on any food. I grunt under my breath.
Me: "No, Ro. They are tampons in their pretty packaging."
R: "Oh yeah. The thing you stick in your bagina to get the blood."

I love having a smart kid.

And that ends our last camping trip of summer 2011. The end.

Tam

update on "sleep training"

I didn't want to leave the topic of sleep training without expanding on it and bringing you up to speed. Here is what has transpired over the last weeks: some naps for Vi last longer than 45 minutes. Some naps do not. We do not leave her after she wakes up. After more research, I discovered that a small percentage of infants have shorter naps and there is nothing a parent can do to make their child sleep longer (if other sleep indicators are healthy, day and night). I think crying it out can be a useful tool when encouraging an infant older than 4 or 5 months to GO to sleep. In our case, Vi has no problem falling asleep and I don't feel like crying it out or leaving her to lengthen a nap was useful or helpful.

What has proven to be useful is sleep timing - helping Violet stay rested at the same times each day. She wakes between 5:50 and 6:40 each day. Her first nap occurs around 9, then her next nap is around 1, and then she stays awake until bedtime which we are currently working on developing. We have a great routine and right now it is at 7. For 2 nights we have made it 20 minutes earlier to see if this will help her sleep to around 6:30 everyday.

I also discovered that morning naps at this age are more important than afternoon naps. Interesting. I would have thought the opposite. Our stance is to protect naps, not become a slave to them. Some flexibility can be healthy and sets a chid up for success for the special days when routine goes out the window - like days at the beach, camping, Canada's Wonderland, etc. Rowyn was a pretty routine, okay, VERY routine kid. We didn't flex very much because it rocked her little world. Some friends didn't understand and thought we were being super anal. We can be anal about some things, it is true, like things being put away properly in their place, but why wouldn't we want our child to be flexible on special days?

Anyway, I'm chalking this experience to "live and learn".

Thanks for learning with us,
Tam

camping, part uno

I.love.camping. My first camping experience was the summer before grade 9, with my youth group from church. It wasn't filled with awesome memories (I didn't know a lot of people, and ended up being in a tent with someone who was about as unpopular as me, a leader, and the youth pastor's wife - all I remember about the 2 nights is the youth pastor's wife saying she had heard having kids felt like having your arm ripped off), but I love the great outdoors, and always have. I love the heat of the sun, the caress of the wind, the shade of trees, the smell of cut grass, sun rises and sun sets, the stars in a dark sky unspoiled by city lights.....I could go on and on. To me, camping is the ultimate way to experience everything our Creator made for us to enjoy (though I really like cottaging too). 

Ben and I went camping many times as a couple before kids. Though I didn't spend much time thinking about it, I had no idea how different camping would be with kids. We took Rowyn camping when she was 18 months old (to the Pinery), and had a great time. Ro loves the water, and she loves playing with dirt and sand. She was pretty much in her glory. She napped pretty well, stayed up a little later at night, but then slept through the night. Ro was up pretty early due to the early daylight. I remember wandering around the park with her, trying to kill time until other campers started to stir. Last summer, at 2 1/2 years of age, camping was an adventure. Late nights, early mornings, naps on the beach, campfires roasting marshmallows and hot dogs, eating her first s'more...by our third trip camping, the Smith family was in their groove (though it POURED rain every day). 

Fast forward to mid-July 2011, our first time camping with a 7 month old. I thought it would be pretty easy......

It was my goal to snap photos of everything so I could share an amazing post. Instead, I snapped no photos, so you get to see the pics my most talented hubbie took. 

Here we are, almost done setting up. Vi discovered the sand (yummy), and Ro was begging to go to the beach. 

Here are beach photos:

 Notice the white pop-up tent? That was our headquarters. It was awesome and the shade was much needed!

Our poser. 

Our big girl who can sit up. 

The Smith gals (minus Dawn and Danica - we miss you!!!!)

Now for the nitty-gritty. Our camping trip was full of GREAT things and AWFUL things. GREAT things included: awesome family time, yummy food, no rain, clear skies at night, premium campsite just over the dune from the beach. Let me share the awful....

Night 1 Ro asked to go to bed at 8:30. Vi was asleep around 7:45, and I thought, "Sweet! I'm going to get some time around the fire, kid-free!" Joke was on me! First off, Vi woke up when Ro was going to bed and stayed awake, laughing and screaming at her sister until around 10ish. Ro didn't fall asleep until 10:30. The mosquitoes ATTACKED and PILLAGED me at dusk so I ran for cover (in our tent). Good thing I ate a s'more early. Ro insisted on sleeping on the "comfortable" air mattress with Ben, so I slept on the thermarest on the ground. Vi joined me at 3:30 and slept until 6:50. Not too bad, but not great either. LESSONS LEARNED: perhaps the pack 'n play wasn't the best sleep solution for Vi. We decided to try the stroller the next night. Keep Ro up later. 

Night 2: we put Vi in her stroller and I walked around until she fell asleep (around 8:30). We decided to keep Ro up until 9:30 so she could enjoy the campfire and play some more with her cousins. Ben and I decided to avoid the mosquito onslaught and went to bed at the same time. Success one - Vi stayed asleep!! Success two - Ro fell asleep right away!! Then our neighbours got REALLY noisy so Ben and I didn't fall asleep until around 11 (one of our nieces was having a little trouble too so she kept calling for her sister who was in another tent which also kept us awake - no biggie). I was pretty optimisitic that night 2 was going to be way better than night 1. Then 12:08 happened. Ro woke up hysterical. Correction - she didn't wake up. She was just hysterical. Yup, a good ole' night terror while camping. After 50 minutes of hysterical crying, both Ben and I losing our cool at different times (yup, I told my kid to shut up), then a request to pee where I got torn apart by the blinkin' mosquitoes since I was in my sports bra and undies, Ro had woken up her sister, couldn't settle down, and had actually urinated LOADS in our tent. No problem. Jiggle Vi, try to console Ro, put dirty clothes over the urine and we would deal with them in the morning.....but when Ro wouldn't settle down, we did what we thought we needed to do. We cut our loses, wrapped Vi in a a blanket, Ro in a sheet, and made a mad dash to the van to come home. Yup, that's right. We left Long Point at 1:22 am and got home to Oakville at 3:30. The girls slept the whole way (Ro settled down right away), and then Vi, after waking up in the transfer and feeding, slept until 8:30. Ro woke up at 10. We then headed back to pack up our stuff, enjoy the beach for a little bit, and then head home. Again. 

What does one say? What doesn't one say? All I can say is that it was another adventure, to be talked about for years to come. Camping trip numero uno ended. Done. On Monday we head out again. Stay tuned......

Wondering if camping trip numero deux could get worse (surely not??!!),

Tam

"sleep training" and the Smiths

Bring this up at a party, and either you will gain popularity with new parents who soak up all baby knowledge like a sponge, or become the guest that everyone ignores (and not because you smell). Sleep training - the term makes me cringe because it sounds so formal, so regimented, so unbabylike. Babies are warm, soft, cuddly, pleasingly aromatic, everything pure and delightful.

They lead one to think that life is always calm and peaceful.....and then it happens. They start to sleep less during the day, and consolidate their daytime sleep into naps. Some babies make this transition easily. Others find this transition challenging. Enter our darling Violet.

I believe that babies need to learn how to do a lot of things - like breastfeeding (which I didn't really realize the first time around), rolling, sitting, eating, crawling, walking. Some of these things they learn on their on. Other things need our guidance and support. It just seems so weird to me that they need us to help them to learn how to nap and/or sleep through the night. Ro was a great nighttime sleeper, but a little bit of a sketchy daytime sleeper. Vi was a great nighttime sleeper and then got her first wicked cold. She started to wake up during the night, and I assumed she was hungry. Then it dawned on me that she wasn't hungry, she just wanted to say hello. Mommy has stopped saying hello back, in a kind way. Then rolling over in her crib started and she didn't want to be on her tummy. Thankfully, she now prefers sleeping on her tummy. Now as for daytime sleep.....

Violet started to only sleep for around 45 minutes per nap, 3 times per day. I couldn't figure it out. She was generally very happy and content while she was awake so I tricked myself into thinking that she was getting enough sleep. However, 6 month olds need about 3.25 hours of sleep during the day (in 2 naps). Vi was getting about 2 hours per day (in 3 naps). That deviance was too large for my liking. It then dawned on me that our sleep cycle is 45 minutes in length. I remembered learning about this in first year psychology in university, and then reading about it in a baby sleep book ("Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"). She was waking at the end of her sleep cycle, and I wasn't giving her the chance, or showing her, that she could go back to sleep. 

It was time for sleep training boot camp. We had been quite structured with Ro (she is our scheduled, routine kid) with her sleeping. Vi has had to roll with the punches being the second child (but that is also her personality - laid back, content), and has been quite good at it. However, her daytime sleep has suffered. Last Wednesday evening we decided to leave her in her crib the next day at naptime to help her learn to fall back to sleep, crying or no crying. Few parents like to talk about this. I know why. It seems so cruel. Listening to your child cry is no fun either. However, we decided this was best for Vi and committed to encourage longer naps for 3-5 days. Thursday she went back to sleep in the morning, but in the afternoon, no such luck. Now, I could have left her in her crib until she did indeed sleep, but it was her feeding time and she had been in her crib for a while (awake for just over 1 hour - I was aiming for a 1 hour, 45 minute nap). The next day she napped for 30 minutes in the morning (we were in the car on our way to visit Auntie El and she woke up and didn't go back to sleep), but then she napped for 3 hours later in the day, without waking up at all. First minor victory!!

Saturday was the worst day of all. I am so thankful that Ben was home to offer his support and encouragement. Vi cried in her crib and didn't fall back to sleep in either of her nap times. Then we turned the corner. Vi had great naps on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday! The 3 days of pain (well, actually, just 2 since Thursday was great) were worth it. I know there are people who would argue with me and ask me how I could do such a thing (I did go in to her to soothe her, but didn't pick her up - a Ferber method). In fact, I read this article while writing this post ("Coddle or let the kid cry?...") and felt sick to my stomach. However:

1. I know that research shows that if you encourage your kids in their sleeping before they are 1 year old, it only takes about 3 days. If you wait until they are older, it can take 7+ days. 

2. Both Ben and I know that sleep deprivation in infants has been linked to behavioural and cognitive problems. We want our daughters to have the best start they possibly can. 

3. Our days had no sense of balance. I would put Vi down for a nap, start a task, and Vi would wake up. I wasn't getting anything done, and I felt like I was losing my sanity some days. NOTE: I know this isn't all about me. :)


4. Vi's days were unpredictable - she didn't know if she would be eating, sleeping, or doing both at the same time. We try to set a routine of eat, activity, sleep. Babies (and children in fact) thrive on predictability and routine. This wasn't working. 

5. A number of my friends who I respect have done similar things at some time or another with their children, and they felt the pay off was worth it.

This post isn't about me advocating a certain method, rationalizing our choice, or putting down others who do things differently. I wanted to share our learnings, our struggles, and talk about the taboo topic we all dodge like the plague.

Here's to health, predictability......AND SLEEP!!!!!
Tam

vi eating

Some of our favourite moments over the last 2 weeks have revolved around Vi and food. Her facial expressions have been priceless! We started her on pureed peas, then headed to carrots, some watermelon, green beans, baby oatmeal, and now pears. I made all Ro's baby food, and so far have not done so for Vi (in typical 2nd child fashion - inferior treatment). However, all her food has been organic.

Vi has not been a big fan of purees. She would much rather have a big chuck of something, latch onto it, and suck the snot out of it (or juices). :)

Here she is trying peas for the first time.

Today we tried pureed pears. Check out her reaction on the video below.

I'm going to be heading out today to purchase one of those mesh sac food thingys that totally gross me out. We were given one for Ro, and I gave it away as she loved purees and food (another difference between the girls). I have a feeling Vi will think she has hit the jack pot!

Here's to days filled with bananas, avocados, and all things suckable! :)

Tam

teething, paint and a fire

Hello friends!! It has been TOOOO long! I haven't been keeping up with the blogs I read (there are some GREAT blogs out there!!), and I definitely haven't been keeping up with my writing. Every night has been filled with cleaning after the day's construction so I haven't had much time to do anything other than survive and try to keep the dust contained. Then exhaustion tempts me to my boudoir and it's good night Irene.

Except Irene, or Violet, don't stay asleep that long it seems. Violet has, as of late, been waking about 2 times per night, crying until I feed her. I couldn't figure out this new trend. She is eating enough during the day. Why all of a sudden did she need nightly feeds? Our answer came a couple of weeks ago - she has two new teeth!! And get a load of this - they are her lower right cuspid (or canine) and her upper left cuspid (or canine). Since I started writing this on June 2nd, things have improved. Vi is back to sleeping through the night. Yay!!!!!

Okay, back to our basement. Imagine an unfinished basement - concrete walls, insulation covered with vapour barrier, a washing machine and dryer at one end, trusty IKEA sten shelving for storage at the other end, a play kitchen, and a kid's craft area. We had a vision. We desired a separate laundry room that would be large enough to accommodate my sewing possessions (cabinets and a countertop - oh la la!). We wanted a separate storage room that incorporated the storage under our stairs. We wanted a large, open play space for our kids as they grow. We wanted to incorporate a future media section for a TV and other componentry. 

Well, our vision started to become a reality on April 27. After two quotes of about $20000 (including taxes), we barfed in our mouths, and thought that there must be a better way (meaning cheaper). Enter Tim Drabik, Ben's cousin. Tim is a jack-of-all-trades, most recently working for Mattamy Homes. He is a good guy and a REALLY hard worker. He is out of work so we offered him a job finishing our basement. Win-win for all of us! Tim has commuted from Kohler every day and has done a great job, mainly by himself. Thanks, Tim!

Well, 24 work days later (on June 2nd), our basement is almost finished. Tim's dad, Ben's Uncle Jim, is coming on Saturday morning (June 4) to install 3 new breakers in our electrical panel and "turn on the lights". Our carpet is being installed next week (we think). Ben's dad is going to lay the tile in the laundry room and is finishing up the built-in bookshelf and component unit. We still need door hardware. We are so close, we can taste it.....UPDATE: we have lights, we have carpet as of last Friday (June 10), we have a tiled laundry room, we have door hardware. Here what is left to do: trim 3 doors so they will now close over the carpet, paint touch-ups, some minor trim work, and installing the built-in bookshelf and component unit. SOOOOOO close. 

Things have gone great at times, and at times, things have been frustrating. Tim is a great framer and drywaller. He is content with 2 Gingerales per day. Before we knew it, it was time to tape and mud the drywall and then paint. Ah, the paint. The painting started out amazingly well. Sherwin Williams had a 40% sale so we were able to purchase all the primer/paint for our basement for a great price. Our plan was to paint it ourselves. However, the job was pretty daunting considering it would have to be done on weekends, there are several bulkheads in the ceiling (so lots of cutting in), and we needed to prime the drywall and THEN paint. We needed to paint before the carpet could go in, so we wanted to paint ASAP. Ben suggested we get some quotes to see how much (or little) we could spend to have the basement painted. Our flooring guy suggested his painter whose quote was $1000. Seemed a little steep to me. Our "regular" guy wasn't available. Then Tim suggested I call his friend who had been out for a couple of days to help Tim with the drywall. He had left his business card, and it clearly stated he was a painter. I called and he told me he would paint it for $25/hour and he figured it would take 10 hours. I hired him on the spot. SCORE!!

Fast forward to Wednesday, June 1st, painting day. Said painter painted the basement in about 10 hours, just like he had thought. After he left I checked it out. How do I nicely express our disappointment? Hmmmmmm....It was unacceptable. All of it. After some tears, and a letter-sized piece of paper full of notes, Ben called him, had a very frank conversation (for those who know my hubbie, Ben is VERY frank. In fact, I heard him ask the painter if "that was his best effort"......), and he came back the next day "to make us satisfied". I spent a chunk of time sanding, prepping for him. Ben and I were both very trepidatious. Would it look worse? Could he fix it? Should we cut our loses and fix it ourselves?

Well, there was not a straightforward answer to these questions. He fixed up some of it, but I have had to cut most of it in again. Every time I look around, I see something else to touch up. Hopefully the chunks on the ceiling brush off after the paint dries just like he said they would.....better not get me started. 

What about the fire you ask? Well, both Tim and the painter took smoke breaks. Tim always smoked in his van, but on Tuesday the 31st, they smoked on our front porch as it was soooo hot. This also happened on Wednesday. Some cigarette butts ended up in our flowerbeds, and said nasty things started a mulch fire. A neighbour out for a walk noticed a fire by our front walk, beside the cable box, tried to get me to answer the door (which I refused - I don't open the door for strangers as I assume they want to sell me something I can't say no to....that's another story), and then proceeded to call 911 as she didn't know what the box was for (yup, the cable box). In the meantime, I decided to open my door to see who was still standing on my porch, now talking on the phone. After pouring several large bowlfuls of water on the fire, the Oakville fire and rescue crew showed up to save us from the one licking flame. Yup, pretty embarrassing. ALTHOUGH, they did find several other little fires, and my plants got a watering. :)

I'm now sitting the other end of this all-consuming process. Some things required a lot of supervision, many errands were run, I felt not respected as a woman at times, and I feel like my children were slightly neglected. We have moved into our new space, our home is clean, and we now have new carpet up our stairs, and hardwood (beautiful natural hickory) on our 2nd and 3rd floors. I feel like a weight has been lifted and that we can start to live again. Now that everything is done (well almost, our deck is being built on Wednesday), we can enjoy our home once again. Ro is loving her new play space (as is Vi) and wants to show everyone her new basement and hardwood flooring in her bedroom. Too cute. She wants to go there first thing in the morning. This finished basement is becoming every parent's dream.

What I have learned and been reminded of through this process - women are still not listened to in the same way men are, children are very forgiving and overlook many things, my mental well-being is very tied up in my environment (read between the lines - I need my living space to be clean and organized), I.heart.my.family (thanks for coming and being with my kidlets at times so I could get stuff done in a guilt-free manner).

Missed everyone and am glad to be back. Game on!!

Until next time,
Tam

Oreo cookie crumbs and all things Easter

I'm sure you have all been waiting to hear how last week and the weekend went......it was great! Everything got done (one playdate was cancelled due to illness - not on my end), and there were some good stories to boot!

I made the Snickers cheesecake for Friday, as planned. I had checked to make sure I had Oreo cookie crumbs for the crust, and proceeded to use them. When I opened the Ziploc container they were in, the crumbs kind of had an odour, but I thought that's what cookie crumbs smelt like after being stored for a while. Wrong!!!! When I got the cheesecake out of the fridge on Friday to serve it, Ben made a comment about our cheese fondue still stinking (Ben likes mild cheddar, parmesan, and mozzarella. Period). I recognized that stench. It was the cookie crumbs - and they were rancid! Who knew cookie crumbs went rancid? Not I! Now I do. How long had I had them for you ask? I have no idea - probably the source of the problem. The rest of the unused crumbs went in the compost, the container in the recycling. We scraped the cheesecake off the crust as it was still fine. It seems the Snickers layer took it for the team. Thanks Snickers. I didn't know I could love you even more.

While conducting the photo shoot of the hardboiled eggs Ro and I decorated for our annual hit off (last year's victor was Ben), Ro dropped my egg. I exclaimed my disappointment which resulted in tears which I proceeded to photograph. We hugged and made up. Ro then proceeded to win. I submitted a written reqest for the judges to investigate the circumstances leading to Ro's victory. I'm still waiting to hear back. :) Don't worry folks. I'll be back in it next year (barring a photo shoot accident).

I find myself currently trying to purge my house of leftovers: 3 hot cross buns on my counter, 1 piece of carrot cake in the fridge (now gone by the time this was posted), decorated sugar cookies in the freezer, more than half a cheesecake in the freezer, Mini Eggs and Lindt bunnies in my cupboard.....I might be one of the few of the breastfeeding moms who has gained weight since giving birth. I think I might need to stop baking.......

Looking to purge my body of the excess sugar (still),
Tam

a day in the life of Vi

Good morning! I happily woke up today at 7, ready to get going. Mom fed me first thing (which is the way I like it), changed my diaper, and got me dressed. Then playtime!! I got to play with (aka eating) my peacock (still to be named) while Mom ate breakfast.

Ro woke 45 minutes after I did, and then about 10 minutes later Auntie Sandy dropped by on her way to work. That was a cool surprise! By the way, Mom told me she is my legal guardian. I see how much my big sister loves her. Guess she must be alright. :)

I had my first nap of the day while Mom took Ro to school. When I woke up, I ate again. It was about 10. That's when Mom found this new app for her iPhone, Instagram. Today's blog post is thanks to this new obsession. She got a little carried away today.

Here I am, post-feed. I have recently discovered I can suck on my index finger instead of trying to shove my whole fist in my mouth. All these things to learn and manipulate! It's way harder than it looks!

Mom and I then had some time to read books together. Mom read me a bunch, and we finished with Fuzzy Bee and Friends. It's awesome because it is squishy and touchy-feely. My kind of book. Then I decided to play peek-a-boo. I see you!

Time to nap again. I wasn't too impressed for the first 30 seconds and then...

I was out. 

Mom went to pick up Ro from school, and I stayed home napping while Dad was sleeping. I woke him up with my crying though before Mom got back. I really just wanted to see him. We then all hung out together in his bed. 

Then, the wheels fell off the wagon. At least that's what Mom said. My sister started to get really excited, and I started to cry. Mom wrapped up that photo shoot pretty quickly!

Have I told you how much I adore my big sister? She is simply amazing.

Then it was time to feed again, and Mom changed my diaper for the third time. She's really effecient at keeping me comfortable. Props, Mama!

What's a day without a dance party? Ro wanted to have it in my bedroom, and she took a picture of Mom and I busting a move. Not bad, huh?

Then we went for a walk so Ro could play in the park. I was planning on napping in my stroller. Which I did...

and continued to do once we were back home. My basinette rocks!

After eating again, I played on my jungle mat (thanks Westbys!!) while Ro and Mom ate supper. I really like to listen to the animal noises and talk back. Everyone thinks it's pretty cute. But really, I just want the giraffe to know how much I love him!

After supper, we packed up for our escapades tomorrow, Ro had a bath, and then we both got ready for bed. I ate one last time, and then Mom got me ready for bed. I have a routine I like to follow: change my diaper, put on my pjs, brush my teeth, shut my curtains, read Goodnight Moon, talk to God, and snuggle with Mom. I like knowing what is going to be happening next.

Who doesn't love Goodnight Moon?

It's 7:45 and I'm done. Thanks for sharing my day with me! Let's catch up again soon. But not too soon. Hopefully Mom will take a break from her new app...

Until another day,
Tam