next steps as a family

Ben and I take our role as parents to two amazing girls very seriously. We are quite intentional about choices we make with our daughters and sometimes for our daughters. We know that the girls we help them become now, determines the 8 year olds, 12 year olds, 17 year olds, 21 year olds they will later become. It is too late to wait until they are older.

What do we want for our girls? What kind of women do we pray they become? Strong, yet humble women. Women who are confident in who God has made them. Other-centred risk-takers, who shrug at the comforts around them, and live lives that further God's kingdom. Women who impact their sphere, and are continually looking for ways to protect others and the environment. Respectful women who deeply love and are deeply loved. Women full of compassion and empathy, who are peacemakers wherever they go. Do we have big dreams for our girls? You bet. But we believe these are God's dreams for our girls.

On our quest to raise other-centred, respectful girls, girls who don't need to feel comfortable all the time, we have felt God asking us to change some things. One of the things we are going to change is how we approach birthdays and Christmas. I don't know about you, but I love to buy gifts for people, to see the excitement and happiness they exude when they open a thought-filled gift. To me, it is a great way to show love. I still remember my first Swatch from my parents, I remember surprising Ben with a camera, and Ro's excitement and enthusiasm over gifts is contagious! On the downside, and I don't know why, but I have sometimes equated people's love for me with the gift they have bought me (okay, mainly my husband). The more gifts or the bigger the gift, the more I have felt loved. That's not right. I know my husband loves me regardless of the gift.

As we head into birthday season (Ben - November 9, Ro - December 3, Vi - December 20, me - December 26) and the Christmas season, we are committed to showing love in different ways. We are not going to give gifts this year. Let's face it. We all have everything we need. Instead, we are going to raise money to buy food for hungry Canadian families through World Vision. We are going to be asking our friends and family to get on board with this (if they choose to and I know some have already bought gifts - which is fine) - instead of buying gifts for any of us, we are going to ask that they donate money so that we can feed as many hungry Canadian families as we can. When 1 in 8 kids don't have enough to eat, we need to act.

As Ro and I sat with the World Vision catalogue, it was extremely difficult to decide which cause to support. We loved watching the videos online of how chickens, fish farms, and goats can change a family's life...forever. But there was something about the picture of the mom and her two kids ("Mom, look, the baby looks like Vi!") and knowing that there are kids around her that don't have enough food to eat that drew Ro in. She has a tender heart - I so love that about her and pray that never changes.

So, our next step:
1. birthdays that celebrate each individual by spending time together and doing things together. Experiences, not gifts.
2. a Christmas tree with nothing underneath it.

I know there will be times when each of us will question this decision - buying gifts for those you love is ALL AROUND YOU EVERYWHERE as November turns into December. However, we will remind each other about what this life is really all about - giving our time, ourselves, our love, to each other. Loving our neighbour. Loving God.

Holding onto our hats. It's gonna be a fun ride!
Tam