'tis the season....

For what? What does this "season" look like, feel like, mean to you? Well, for those that know our family, it is a time of constant celebration. Ben's birthday tends to kick it off (November 9), then we decorate the house and put up the tree, we go to our favourite Christmas party in late November, Ro's birthday is December 3, Vi's birthday is December 20, we will have 2 family Christmases (Smith and Misener), we love the traditions we have started on Christmas Eve (fondue and storytelling around our fireplace), Christmas Day, and my birthday is December 26. We also have our extended Misener Christmas on January 1. *Insert collective sigh.* But a mainly good sigh.

This year, in our quest to simplify, we wanted things to look different and feel different. We wanted to make sure our focus remains on our Constant, and not on all the "stuff" that we can get sucked into. We wanted to make sure we weren't thoughtlessly adding to our possessions (see our 100 thing quest) but thoughtfully thinking through gifts. We started this last year, and this year, we have a MAJOR family experience planned. Stay tuned....

So, for our birthdays, we are doing one family celebration on December 1. We are going to go to our favourite local restaurant (Ro wanted to go to Swiss Chalet, but I put my foot down - little Ben) to celebrate all our birthdays in one shot, and have cake at home for dessert. This alleviated the need for 4 special birthday dinners, extended family birthday parties, or the dreaded friend birthday party that costs hundreds of dollars (the going rate around here - no one does home birthdays anymore it seems). We will still take time on our respective days to celebrate the birthday person (Ro wants pancakes and bacon for dinner), but it will be low-key and it doesn't have to be about stuff. Since the girls' birthdays are on a Monday and Thursday respectively, Ben isn't able to be home for any celebration and we all decided that it would be WAY better to celebrate all together. For their birthdays, I'm going to write each girl a letter telling them how much they are loved and what we adore about them.

The decision to do this hasn't been without pain. "What about celebrating each kid individually?" "Won't their actual birthday days be anti-climatic?" "Are you doing a disservice to your kids?" "Is this sustainable moving forward?" Let me answer some FAQ.

• First off, Vi is turning 2 and really doesn't have a sweet clue as to when her "real" birthday is. She'll be thrilled to wake up to a decorated room on any day, and even more thrilled that we are together as a family to do so. 

• I'm not sure our culture's push to tell each kid how special they are is a healthy stance, focus, statement. Our bend towards individualism has caused us to become self-reliant, less tolerant of those who believe/think/live differently than us, and isolated. Celebrating individually is fun, and if all our birthdays were somewhat spread out through the year, this might be a non-issue. But since our birthdays are together, since we want celebrations to focus on relationship, what better way than doing it all together!!
• I love each of my daughters to the moon and back, and I can show them this collectively and individually all throughout the year. 

• Though we love tradition, we are super flexible and will evaluate each year as it comes. Sustainability, shushstainability. 

I have no problem with people disagreeing with our decision. But the key word is that it is OUR decision, and it is what feels right...this year...for us.

Here's to celebrations that focus on what really matters - relationship,
Tam
aka the birthday grinch

Reflecting on Vi's first year...

Disclaimer: this post has been done for a while, but just needed pictures added. Here they are, and here is the post. An explanation will follow shortly. 

Wow! I can't believe little Vi has been with us for a year. It doesn't seem possible. If I think hard enough, I can still recreate the c-section pains I don't wish on anyone (well, not really, but it seems like just yesterday she was born). What a year it has been...

In some ways, life has been easier than I thought. Vi is laid back and can roll with whatever is happening. She took many a nap at The Little Gym while Ro danced and did gymnastics, at the park while Ro played, at church so Ro could experience consistent teachers and friends. Vi is equally happy reading books, singing songs, or running errands with her ever-busy mom. Vi hasn't been too concerned about moving about. She is currently in bum scooting mode, just starting to accept weight on her legs and feet. :) Vi could nurse anywhere and was content to just "be".

In other ways, this year has been hard. Ben has had one of his busiest years EVER (good for us financially, bad for our family) which means he hasn't been around much. Having another daughter to care for and meet her needs has been tiring, draining, and trying at times. It seems like we always have a million things to do. This often gets in the way of our social calendar and just hanging out. We've missed our peeps (the Eastons) - we could chill with those guys, here or there, share a meal, hand off kids, etc. Not having them around has added a layer of "mommy loneliness" to my life.

Vi has been incredible - her joy, smile, laughter, charm, coy grin, wave of her hand - win everyone over. She adores her big sister, and is adored in return. I love hugging her, snuggling her, having her head against my shoulder, her hand in mine. Her babbling and words that she rhymes off brighten my day. Her love warms my heart.

Two is busy, and there have been times I have found it difficult to enjoy my time with them. This makes me feel INCREDIBLY guilty. That being said, this year has been one of the greatest journeys I have endeavoured to undertake. I am honored to be Vi and Ro's mom, and Ben's wife. There is no where I would rather be.

Vi, we love you. You have completed our family.

Happy New Year,
Tam

dear Rowyn

Rowyn,

Tomorrow is the day you have been waiting all year for - your 4th birthday! I know what it is like waiting all year, when everyone is older than you. But, we can't change when your birthday is, so I suggest you continue to make the best of it, which you do.

I can't believe you are 4 years old. I was thinking back to when we got pregnant. It feels like yesterday, but it was over 4 years ago. Then you turned 1. And then I blinked and now you are 4.

This has been a big year.

You became a big sister. You learned how to share us with someone else.

Ro and Vi (6 weeks old)

Ro and Vi (4 months old)

You learned to write letters and numbers and read some words. Here you are the first time you wrote your name, "Ro".

February 

You took tap, ballet, and gymnastics lessons. You learned to skate and skip. You learned how to pedal your tricycle.

You started SCHOOL!!??!!

I want to freeze time, to hold you tight, to soak up every minute with you. I think you have been feeling the same way based on our conversation last night, while snuggling in my bed (our of the blue).

Ro: "When I get married, I won't live at home (getting choked up) anymore, will I?"

Me: "No, you won't, honey."

Ro, in a quavering voice: "I'm never going to get married. I'm always going to live at home, until I'm the last number, until I (voice cracks) die."

Me: "There is nothing that would make me happier."

You probably won't want to stay with me for the rest of your life, but in some ways I wish that could happen.

I love your smile and dimples, your laugh, the way you wriggle and giggle while being tickled, the way you can calm yourself down and explain what is going on in your head, how excitable you are, the way you share your things with others, your genuine desire to have people over all the time, the way you interact with Vi (most of the time), your heart for others and for Jesus.

It is my prayer for this coming year that you continue to learn how much you are loved by us, others, and God, that you continue to shine love to others, that you remain secure in who you are, that you reach out to those around you that need love, that are lonely, that are different. I thank God for entrusting us to be your parents (sometimes this FREAKS ME OUT!!). He has temporarily given you to us so that we can show you love and teach you how to love, and encourage you to become the best version of you possible. I take this job as being your mom most seriously.

Ro, you are loved. Thank you for teaching us so much, especially about forgiveness.

Mom and Dad