processing is a journey, part 1

Mozambique:
A former Portuguese colony
Differing from British colonies, nationals were treated without dignity or respect. They were given limited access to education and health care. 
When Mozambique achieved independence, the Portuguese, upon leaving, poured cement down wells. They set fire to landmarks. They did unimaginable things.
Mozambique was left bereft - of dignity, of self-respect. The country was left to govern themselves with no experience doing so. There were few skilled labourers. The infrastructure was in shambles. 
Within one year of independence, almost all the Portuguese population had left. This rapid exodus left the economy in disarray. 
Then civil war, for 15 years, under the auspices of communism. War destroyed the remaining wealth. There was a state of absolute disrepair. 
Now democracy. Then a cyclone caused widespread flooding. Now economic recovery led by investment from South Africa, East Asia, and returning Portuguese nationals. 

My Journey: We step off the plane and see a single terminal airport, probably not too much unlike what the Hamilton airport would have been back in the day. There was one entrance door, one customs officer, one conveyor that contained our lugguage. 

All 7 of us, plus our MCC service worker, pile into a SUV, and head to the guesthouse. Our first glimpses included palm trees, some buildings being constructed, a resort with Asian funding being constructed, people walking on the side of the road, cyclists, and potholes the size of craters. 

As we enter Beira proper, the asphalt becomes patchy, the potholes increase in number, and we see large houses. We discover that at one time, this was one of the richest neighbourhoods. Humour me here. Close your eyes and picture a neighbourhood not far from where you live with 3000-4000 square foot homes, dated, but still well kept, lawns manicured, gardens neat and bursting with colour, mature trees, single families, multiple new cars that are freshly detailed in the driveway. It feels safe, secure, wealthy - for some of us perhaps unfamiliar, perhaps uncomfortable. Now imagine the only thing in common are the cars in the driveway. Well, actually, not even the cars. Imagine older model SUVs, patchy asphalt driveway, homes stained with mold and moisture, gardens long overgrown, laundry hanging across the second floor balconey. Further down the road, imagine these homes with no windows, gardens long gone, multiple families, no cars, and dirt. Everywhere dirt. Dusty, loamy, cover your feet kind of dirt. The kind that is so light it blows in the lightest breeze. The kind that it is hard to feel clean as it sticks to the least bit of moisture on your body. 

What happened to these once-beautiful neighbourhoods? War, neglect, poverty, lack of materials. 

Please close your eyes again. Imagine the Royal York in Toronto in all its glory, flags waving in the wind, clean, pristine. Imagine it gutted by a colonial power, burned, broken. Imagine 4-5000 squatters taking it over, men, women, children. Imagine walls and floors being chiselled away so chunks of concrete could be sold. Imagine children roaming all day as school is out of their reach. Imagine the once majestic yards and landscape overrun with grasses and weeds. Imagine the Olympic-sized swimming pool being used as their sewer. Imagine all windows long gone, tattered sheets blowing in the ocean breeze. Imagine how dark it is when the sun goes down at 5:45. My heart broke for the women and children, trying to survive. 

Grand Hotel, built in the 1060s

Heavy, dark, lack of hope. To be honest, that is exactly how I feel. Guilty. Sick. Heartbroken. 

I ask Steve, a BIC missionary and our tour guide, living in Beira for 1 year, how he keeps going, keeps positive, has hope. He looks at me and understands. He sees the lack of hope, the heartbrokenness. One word sticks out from what he shares next and that is OPPORTUNITY. Everywhere I see despair, he sees an opportunity. An opportunity to share food. An opportunity to raise funds to send a child to school. An opportunity to be loving, kind, and full of peace. An opportunity to share the hope he has in a better future. 

And it strikes me, right between the eyes. It is simple. It boils down to one thing. Everyone needs HOPE. As a mom without hope, I see a dark future for my children. I see neverending hunger. I see the cycle of poverty continuing, always continuing, without end. I see lack of confidence and the erosion of spirit in my husband. I feel the weight of caring for my family, of pretending to like waking up each day. The hunger pains have become my friend, something that is reliable and will always be with me. I see my comrades-in-arms, wearing their capalanas around their waist and their ends, carrying their tubs of fares to be sold at market, never meeting my eyes. I feel lonely. And then, HOPE. Hope fills my thoughts as I wake each morning, walking to get water. I smile at my children, as they get ready to walk to school, uniforms on, books in hand. My mundane, tedious tasks of making pots of rice, porridge, beans, brings me a joy as I feel pride in feeding my family. I feel the birthing of something new in my community. 

Where does this hope come from? From guys like Steve, and his wife, Chris, who left it all behind and who befriend those in Beira. They bring breakfast to street kids. They bring dinners to prisoners who never get to leave their cells, women accompanied by their children. They host moms groups. They teach those interested about Jesus and his transforming message of love and peace. They train and equip pastors and leaders. 

From people like Lisa, who left her career in Ontario in dentistry to build houses for Mozambican families. These families upkeep the inside of the homes, pay for the water and electricity, and she maintains the homes, pays the school fees for the children, and for $800, the family has a home that is theirs after 10 years. Oh, did I mention that these families also adopt 5-6 kids aged 5-11? And that they live in a 9 metre by 10 metre home? That they can have up to 3 biological kids? She is currently building homes 3 and 4, a duplex. How does she fund this? Us. You. Me. How does she get paid? Us. You. Me. The hope she brings is immeasurable. Once unloved are now loved. Once uneducated are now educated. Once hopeless are now full of HOPE. 

One of the homes, built by Lisa (and student engineers)

Lisa

From guys like Tony, recovered alcoholic and drug addict, now husband and father. He meets with a group of teenage boys 3 mornings per week in the alleyway in a market where they sleep before they split for the day. He brings them messages of transformation, hope, and encouragement. He brings money, food, love, and sometimes employment. He brings hope. 

Tony and his sidekick, Jim

The boys

From organizations like Mennonite Central Committee (MCC). With programs funded by individuals and organizations like The Meeting House, they are providing funding to grassroots programs that provide skill training to teenagers so they can have hope of earning a living for their families. They are funding programs like AACO (Aid Association for Orphan Children) where single and double orphans can go to hang out and eat. They also ensure each orphan has the required paperwork to go to school for grade 1 (not an easy feat for a lot of orphan children). These kids have the hope an education brings. They are funding schools, providing agricultural teachers for education in the school but also for the community. These communities have the hope that becoming self-sufficient brings. They are funding the BIC church HIV/AIDS program that provides awareness, education, home care, care kits, medicine. These people living with HIV/AIDS have the hope that there is a brighter future, one without stigmitization, one with community. A community filled with hope. 

AACO in Mafambisse

Teenage girls at Machanga, walking to school

Mozambique...here I come!!

The countdown is officially on - 30 days until I leave for Mozambique!! This may come as news to some (those who didn't see my Facebook status updates), and is old news to others. What? Why? How? Who with? WHAT??? I thought I would bring you all up to speed...

The AIDS pandemic and its ravaging of the continent of Africa first came onto my radar back in the day, pre-children (I really don't remember those days), when I was working full-time at our church, The Meeting House. I started talking to friends about it, I started reading about it (the first book I read was Stephen Lewis' Race Against Time), and I started to pray. I read a bunch on the unequal distribution of resources in our world, I read more on the plight of our global neighbours, and I prayed more. God put a burning desire on my heart at that time (probably 7 years ago now) to travel to southern Africa - I didn't know how, I didn't know when, I just knew I was to go.

Fast forward 7 years, and here I am, the mother of 2 young children, the wife of someone who is never home while he is working, the person who makes our family tick. But God was stirring. He has been leading me down this path as of late, and I knew I should apply to be a member of the next Africa Learning Team. What's an Africa Learning Team? It's a small team of around 5-7 people from The Meeting House who travel to southern Africa to learn about the programs we fund on the ground, to investigate development, to witness the people and stories and changed lives, to partner with MCC, World Vision, and the BIC church, to build relationships with our friends and partners on the ground, and to be an advocate upon return. Note: to give some context, The Meeting House has given MCC approximately $2.5 million to beef up programs in southern Africa and we have pledged to give another $3.5 million to MCC and World Vision over the next 4 years. 

When The Meeting House began to publicize about its next Africa Learning Teams, one in May (with Mennonite Central Committee) to Mozambique, and one in July (with World Vision) to Malawi, I applied to both. Part of me was really hoping to go on the July trip - we have 2 sponsored children in one of the ADPs the team would be visiting, and Ben's show was scheduled to finish just before the trip so he could be the girls' primary caregiver. The next step in the process was an interview (with 2 of our best friends), and then I was offered a spot on the Mozambique team (in May). I accepted without a single hesitation, though I really thought God wanted me in Malawi and South Africa, not Mozambique. However, after digesting the news, I knew Mozambique was where God wants me. And now I leave in 30 days, to taste, smell, hear, and touch part of the continent I have been yearning to visit.

I AM SUPER EXCITED!!! Did you all hear that? I am so pumped to go, to learn, to hold, to help, to uplift, to be broken, to share stories. I have a team of people praying for me, I have wonderful family, friends, and extended family who are supporting me through encouragement, contributions, long skirts, miscellaneous things I will need for the trip, and prayers, and my kids and husband are excited for me to have this experience too (which is huge). Leading up to my interview, Ro would get teary when we talked about me leaving for 15 days. She would say she didn't want me to go. After I got offered a spot and talked with her about it, she was so excited - not one tear! I know the sadness will come (we had a little bit tonight), but she is stoked because she is going to hang with some of her favourite people (grandparents, dear friends, and her dad). Her routine will remain intact (school, playing, eating, sleeping), and both girls benefit by being able to remain at our home. A huge thank you to everyone who has helped to make this happen!!

I am also totally curious. I wonder what Mozambique will be like when I step foot there? I have read lots, watched lots of footage, but I haven't seen the dirt, breathed in the smells and the ocean, felt the wind, heard the languages. I wonder what God has in store for me and the people I meet? I wonder how our team will click and support each other?

I am also a little nervous. Let's be honest - I've never been away from Ben and the girls for this long (15  days!!). I'm mom and wife. That's who I am, that's what I do. But I have continued to remind myself that most importantly, I am God's child, obeying his leading, venturing out into the unknown. I know He will give me the strength, the peace, and the sustenance I need to make it through. I'm feeling the weight of being the eyes and ears for so many, to remember all the stories, to be an advocate on return. I want to do the people justice. I don't want to forget.

For a quick snapshot of life in Mozambique, read this interesting website: comparing Canada and Mozambique. I'm a senior in Mozambique. That is mind-boggling. To see a country torn apart by civil war, by a colonial power that pillaged and burned as they pulled out; a country on the ocean, yes, but with no water inland; to observe child-headed households and the other devastating affects of the AIDS pandemic - please join me in praying for safety, health, and emotional well-being for our team (Matt, Dan, Tim, Jane, Beth, Siobhan), that God would use us as He sees fit, that we would be open to new and different things, that our advocacy component would come together and bear true witness to Mozambique, MCC, the BIC church, and mostly to the people we meet, and that we would come back to never be the same. Pray for the Mozambicans we will interact with, that we will be Jesus' hands and feet and shine his perfect love. Please pray for our families that we leave behind.

Have any questions? Let me know!

I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Tam

October Update

Living simply. I thought I had a good idea what that looked like. I thought I was putting it (somewhat) into practice. I didn't want to get caught up in society's consumerism. I wanted to be generous. But then, this happened.
Then this.
Then a group of women started to meet and discuss what we could do to foster simplicity, peace, generosity. We wanted to do more for AIDS orphans.
Then this happened.
Ziploc bags with cash? Nothing new? Only having 100 things? Let me share what's been happening with the Smith's.

A friend shared an article with me about a movement called "The Compact". This group started in San Francisco in 2006, and the word has spread. These people were fed up with consumerism and waste, and decided to not buy anything new for a whole year. Well, that was 6 years ago and they are still going strong. I began to wonder if I could do that. I'm not a great shopper, and thrift stores around me are mainly of the Value Village variety, but I decided to be very mindful of my shopping habits. If I could find something used, I would buy it over buying new. Which then led to...

The Hole in our Gospel. You can read about that here. A friend who read this post then reached out and asked if a few gals would like to get together to talk about this and applying it to our lives. I was on board right away. I knew we needed to start to live simpler lives. We weren't living beyond our means, accumulating debt. But we were spending more than we needed to be spending. And I knew if we could pare down our monthly budget, we could give more money away. And that is what we have done. Month one, under our belts. We had Ziploc bags labelled for our different budget lines (groceries, entertainment, household, etc.) filled with the cash we were willing to spend. Once the cash was gone, it was gone. We spent about $1500 less than we normally would, by trimming our budget everywhere (groceries, entertainment, investments, etc.). And do you know what? We survived - even with hosting Thanksgiving and Ben eating at home for 3 full weeks, we did it. We said no to some things. We said some things would have to wait. We had great conversations about stuff, needs, and wants. I was eagerly looking ahead to see what was next.

Precious Clement was next, our newest sponsored child. Ro picked her because she was a girl and "girls don't have as many opportunities to go to school", she was Ro's age, and Ro "liked her dress" in the photo. We are thrilled to have another sponsored child from Mposa, Malawi! Then, One Roof.

One Roof was an amazing time of celebration put on by our church, The Meeting House. Thousands gathered at The Powerade Centre in Brampton to sing, dance, and learn of our new mission. It is broken into 3 parts - care, invite, grow. Invite and care really resonated with me. We are aiming to relationally invest $5 million in local and global compassion initiatives. That's what church is to me - living out Jesus' love. What better way than to redistribute some of our wealth!

Then, the same friend who shared about "The Compact", sent me a link to the 100 thing challenge. Phew! The basic gist is you par your belongings down to 100 things. Let's face it. For some of us,  what fills are house are items that aren't required. Testimonials include being more joyful, more thoughtful, and FREE - free from the pull of stuff, free from society's pull to spend, spend, spend. I started by counting how many things I had. I grouped several things together: underwear, socks, and bras (counted as 1 item), make up, face care, bike gear, hair care, books, and hair accessories (6 items). And yes, each piece of jewelry, each article of clothing, each pair of shoes, was counted individually. I ended up at 155, after paring it down from about 180 (I can't remember exactly). Today I went through the girls' items and Vi is sitting around 115 and Ro is around 200. That didn't include the roughly 40 things they hold in common (toy kitchen, dishes, food items, blocks, etc.). Some grouping of items happened with them also. I can't wait to go over the results with them tomorrow and talk about how much we have and how little our sponsored children have (as a comparison) - another great example of "needs" and "wants". I can't wait to see what they choose to give up/give away. What blows my mind is some people count household items in their list too (like bed, pictures, individual books, kitchen table, cars, etc.). We have a long way to go. :)

Next in line is to simplify our family's schedule (I overextended us as I thought Ro was going to be home schooled). Our one commitment wraps up in 3 weeks, the other 3 wrap up the first week of December, and 2 are ongoing but manageable. We are not enrolling the girls in any sports or activities for the winter session. Hear is all sigh a collective sigh of relief...... 

I am so thankful for the lessons that I have been learning. I may be learning these lessons later in life, but I'm so excited to foster a counter-cultural spirit in my daughters so that they are unabashedly generous, loving, compassionate, and difference-makers. 

I'd love to hear what others are doing to simplify. 

Here's to freedom and generosity,
Tam

to share, or not to share...

I have really wrestled with this post, first written over a week ago - do I go public, or do I not go public? How do I say what God has put on my heart and mind to share?

First off, let me state a couple of things:
1. My intention with this post is purely to encourage each of you where you are at. It is not to cast judgment, or say "I have it all together" - because I don't.
2. This post has been a long time in the making. What I am sharing is a lot of "old" information to me. However, this time around, I got a kick in the pants and read the information through a filter of love and shame. What a difference that makes!

I just finished reading The Hole in our Gospel, written by World Vision US President , Rich Stearns. He is a pretty normal guy, like you and me. He worked hard to overcome his childhood poverty, and lived the American Dream, being CEO of several large American corporations (okay, not too much like me - lol). He had a wife who was a lawyer, 5 kids who went to private Christian school, a lovely home, a company car (a Jag)...and then came an invitation from World Vision US to become their president. Rich fought this invite for months, but then boiled down his decision to a much simpler one - was he going to obey God or disobey God? This might sound kind of hokey, but through many different situations and colleagues, he knew this is what God wanted him to do. Have you ever had a situation like that? I have. I could resonate with his struggle. I left my teaching career, and became a children's pastor (though his decision what MUCH bigger than mine). What did Rich do? He gave up a lot of his comforts, moved his family across the country, and the rest is history.

This book is a sharing of his learnings since becoming president of World Vision US. I spent many evenings, digesting a couple of pages, then weeping. It was heavy stuff. And like I said, I had "heard it all before". But something this time was different. Let me share a couple of things that really got me thinking:

1. "What if there are children who will suffer somehow because I failed to obey God? What if my cowardice costs even one child somewhere in the world his or her life?" (This tipped the scales for him in his decision-making process in becoming president of World Vision US). Make it personal. What if it were your child?
2. Melinda Gates: "The first reason to work to eradicate malaria is an ethical reason - the simple human cost. Every life has equal worth. Sickness and death in Africa are just as awful as sickness and death in America."
3. There is no "whole gospel" without compassion and justice shown to the poor. It's that simple.
4. Yes, the world we live in is corrupt and full of awful things. We are not to give up on the world, nor retreat from it - just the opposite. We are to reclaim and redeem the world for Christ's kingdom, HERE AND NOW!!!
5. More than 26500 kids die every day of preventable causes related to their poverty. That's the equivalent of 100 crashing jetliners...daily. Have you heard that on the news lately?
6. The Bible is clear from the Old Testament through the New that God's people have always had a responsbility to see that everyone in their society was cared for at a basic-needs level. We have the resources. They are just unequally distributed. IT IS OUR TASK TO DISTRIBUTE THEM EQUALLY.
7. Poverty is extremely complex (almost all is fundamentally the result of a lack of options).
8. Hunger - imagine the desparation of knowing there is no food today and likely none tomorrow for your family. So you spend every hour of your day obsessively devoted to the search for sustenance.  854 million people do not have enough food to sustain them. This makes it the number one risk to health globally - more than AIDS, malaria, and TB combined. 
9. Thirsty - now imagine having to walk to the nearest body of water to get the water you will need for the day. 30 gallons of water weighs 250 pounds. Rich's family uses 300 gallons a day. That would require 50 round trips for his family. Reducing to 30 gallons would be a 90% reduction, but carrying 30 gallons of water 2 miles would still take about 5 or 6 trips a day, carrying 50 pounds each time, consuming about 10 hours of hard labour. Now more sinister - imagine the water you fetched was teeming with deadly bacteria, parasites, and waterborne diseases. This is the grim reality for about 1.2 billion people. Thousands of hours are lost seeking and hauling water, especially by women. Millions of children can't attend school because of the hours they spend fetching water. If you take away water and sanitation, you take away my health and that of my children. If you take away my health, you have taken away my energy and my industry. If this happens, you have taken away my dignity. If this happens, you have taken away my hope - for the future, for my children, for a better life.
10. The wealthiest countries, where just one-fifth of the world's population resides, spend 90% of the world's health care dollars, allowing the remaining four-fifths of the planet to spend only 10% of the money.
11. Education is foundational to the development of a child, his or her community, and the entire nation, and no long-term escape from poverty is possible without the methodical and routine education of children - both boys and girls. 
12. The single most significant thing that can be done to cure extreme poverty is this: protect, educate, and nurture girls and women and provide them with equal rights and opportunities - educationally, economically, and socially. Women own less than 1% of the world's property. They also work two-thirds of all the world's labour hours, but earn just 10% of the world's wages.
13. War changes everything. The governments of the world spend $1.2 trillion (that's 12 hundred billion) on their militaries. 
14. Huge difference between entitled and entrusted. I am to be a steward of my resources, that aren't really mine.
15. I should be asking "how much do I keep", not "how much do I give away".
16. Am I willing?

Okay, that was obviously more than a couple of things, and I pared the list down. But here is the bottom line - if we are all truly equal, I can't keep living the way I have been. I have to advocate for the poor, the broken, the oppressed. I need to be mindful of every dollar I spend, since $1 can bring someone clean water and so many live on less than this each day. I have to open my eyes...and my heart. Everyone is someone's child.

Each day, when I wake up, I ask God to break my heart for the things that break His, to give me renewed focus and vigour. I spend a lot more time praying for orphans around the world, for the hungry, for the sick. We put some of our extra things on kijiji and are donating the proceeds to the famine in the Sahel through World Vision (the government is matching donations until September 30). I pared down our monthly budget and we have decreased how much we are investing in RRSPs each month. We will be eating a little more simply (still healthy), but buying minimal organic items (instead of mainly organic). One of our sponsored children lives in Mposa, and right now leaders in Mposa are putting together a list of their top priorities for their community, above and beyond what child sponsorship covers. We are planning to get involved in these fundraising endeavours. We are truly seeking God's direction in what He will have us do next. We are being intentional with the money that has been entrusted to us.

Are you willing? Do you really believe that all 6.7 billion on this planet are equal? Do you believe your purpose is to show compassion, mercy, justice, and to spread God's love? Then keep it up, or start. We can all make a difference. Do little things with great love.

Fighting the good fight (without the boxing gloves),
Tam

morning glory

I've been a baking machine this week. I love to bake. Even better, I love to bake for a good cause. A brilliant friend of mine (Suzanne) came up with this great idea. She was struggling with what she could do in light of the famine in Africa. Her heart was breaking for the moms and children who had no hope, and only moments or days to live. Suzanne has a background in the catering industry, and thought she would put some of those skills to use to make a difference. She got in touch with The Meeting House and her idea was realized. Suzanne bakes muffins once per month, and sells them at the cafe on Sunday mornings. All proceeds go to MCC who steward the funds in Africa. OF COURSE I HAD TO GET ON BOARD!!!  

I make a breakfast-type muffin for this project, a muffin that made my mom swoon (and maybe still does), but one that I used to turn my nose up at (raisins in baked goods = gross!!)...morning glory muffins. Homemade, fresh-baked muffins are one of my favourite things in the whole wide world and these muffins have so many things I love - coconut, pineapple, apple, carrot, and nuts (except I made mine nut-free for this venture). I love them so much, I thought I would share the recipe.

First, gather the ingredients you are going to need:
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 Tbsp cinnamon
2 tsps baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup coconut
3/4 cup GOLDEN raisins
1 large grated apple
2 cups grated carrots
1 cup crushed pineapple
3 eggs
1 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla extract.

Don't get stressed out by the grated apple and grated carrots. I grated a bunch of carrots and portioned them into containers or Ziplocs and had my next 2 batches covered. I did use my food processor and realize not everyone has one. If you have one, grate away, and grate your apples at the same time. You only need 1 for 1 batch.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Because I was baking all the muffins at the same time in 2 muffin tins, I used the convection bake option on my oven, and baked them at 325. 

Stir the sugar, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Add the coconut, raisins, apple, pineapple, carrots, and nuts, and stir to combine. 

In a separate bowl, whisk the eggs with the oil and vanilla.

Pour into the bowl with the dry ingredients and blend well.

Spoon the batter into muffin tins lined with muffin cups, filling each to the brim. 

Note to those who bake lots of muffins, like I do. I love my muffin scoop. You can see it in the photo below. Until recently, I would use a soup spoon, and fill each muffin cup, slopping muffin batter EVERYWHERE. Now I fill my scoop and with a push of my thumb on the handle of the scoop, all the scoop's contents empty into the correct place. No mess. So easy!!

Bake for 35 mins if you are using non-convection, or for 28 mins if you are using convection and preheated your oven. Insert a toothpick into the middle and make sure it comes out clean. Your muffins are then done.

Cool muffins in the pan for 10 mins, then put them on a rack to finish cooling. The recipe says it makes 16 muffins. I get around 19 out of the recipe. These muffins taste better a day after baking. You can store them at room temperature for up to 3 days (covered), or freeze them for up to 2 months.

The hardest part of this process has been to show self-control and not eat one fresh muffin each batch I make. Confession: I did have to eat one. Have to you ask? Yes, have to. On one batch, I put in 2 tsps of salt instead of 1/2 tsp salt and realized it too late. I had forgotten to put in the 2 tsps baking soda. So I added the baking soda to the wet batter and mixed it well, hoping that the baking soda would incorporate. So you can see, sampling was a necessity. And the extra-salty muffins were just fine. You couldn't tell (at least in the muffin I ate).

If you want to try one of these muffins, come on out to the Oakville site of The Meeting House this Sunday, any service. Suggested donation is $2 and Suzanne is making 3 other types of incredible muffins.

Nothing like muffins for MCC,
Tam