Tonight's thoughts.....

What I want my kids to see.....

Jesus with skin on. What does that mean? It means loving boldly (those who wouldn't regularly experience love), giving generously (going without some wants so others can have some needs), and living in peace (amongst other things).

Who can we love boldly? And how? We can love our friends and meet needs, known and unknown. We can share meals, our time, our space, our stuff. We can put others before ourselves. We can love Jesus, and submit to Him. What does this look like to a 3 year old? Well, how do you show a friend you love them? We get to know them better by spending time with them, by learning more about what makes them happy and what they don't like, and by giving of ourselves and our things. Jesus wants us to show this kind of love to everyone, including widows and orphans. 

What does this look like to us? We can invite people over, share a meal, get to know them better. We can listen to them and see where we can get our hands dirty in order to help them and show them they are loved. The girls need to see me learning more about Jesus through reading my Bible, by sharing with them. I can model submission to them, obedience, and freedom. We can spend time with one other family each weekend. The girls and I can have playdates with other moms and kids during the week, making sure no one is lonely. We will dig deeper into kidmax lessons during the week. I will spend time with Jesus everyday in front of the girls, and by myself. This may mean getting up earlier (Vi is up around 5 each morning - this might be tough) or doing it right after they go to bed (way more doable at this point).

Our time as a family is sometimes the hardest thing to share. We don't get much family time during the week, but we sometimes get 30 minutes before Ben goes to work. We could do a better job capitalizing on that time as a family, by relaxing together, praying together, loving each other unconditionally, instead of trying to get something done and worrying about what the day may hold.  After all, a to do list is just another list. 

A 3 year old can get their head wrapped around sharing toys (though they may not like it and may not want to do it all the time). We can start to dialogue about sharing money also. We could brainstorm different ways we could help others with the things we have (time, money). We can show Ro how we support different causes (our local church, Compassion, MCC, etc.) and ask her what she would be interested in learning more about. We could talk about sacrificing a meal out and giving that money, instead, so people can have clean drinking water. We can talk about forgoing individual gifts and having a family experience, or giving what we would have spent on gifts to another worthy organization.

Peace is something we strive for in our words and actions. Peace begins in the home and is modeled by our behaviors - proactive and reactive. We need to be ever mindful of that, regardless of how sleep deprived we are. The words we choose and the tone we use to deliver them can be used to build up or tear down. We always need to build up. No one else is going to fill this role in our children's lives. We need to show forgiveness and reconciliation. We can show what it looks like to ask forgiveness and grant it. 

As a parent, I have much to ask forgiveness for - selfishness, laziness, worrying about things that don't necessarily affect my daughters' characters, being impatient and harbouring resentment in my heart, not being intentional enough about modeling love, generosity, and peace. The cool thing is that I know I am loved and forgiven by those I call my family and by Jesus. I am imperfect, but I know in my weakness, Jesus will show His strength. 

Determined to run the race with joy and a thankful heart,
Tam

heavy hearted

WARNING: THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF MY LIGHTER-HEARTED POSTS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

I have had a sad week. I have had several friends experience deep hurt and loss - loss of relationship, loss of income, loss of a family member, loss of health, loss of trust. I felt the loss indirectly, not being immersed in the hurt first-hand. I spent time talking to God about each thing and each person/family affected. I thought I was "taking it all in stride" (whatever that really means).

Then Sunday came. I began to sense the magnitude of the pain of those around me - those I know and those I don't know. And the tears flowed because it was then that it hit me - even though awful things happen every second, I don't have to face any of the hurt or pain alone. None of us can. I don't know how we could. However, there are those who don't have the supports I have....

For those who don't know me extremely well, I love Jesus. I don't claim to know everything, nor do I claim to have it all together. Following Jesus and being embraced by His love does not mean loss will not happen, that hurt won't creep its way in and try to take over, that crappy things won't happen, that life will be peachy keen. What it does mean is that my friendship with the Lord of the universe cannot be taken by anyone, though it can be tested and challenged, as anything worth developing and investing in usually is. I was reminded that no matter what happens, I am loved. I was reminded that I need to be that love to everyone I encounter, even those who I don't know well. We are not made to do life alone. We need community.

There is no way to avoid pain, hurt. Shutting out those around you does not help lessen the sorrow. Being embraced, knowing you are not alone, being loved in tangible ways, having hope - this is what life is about. Imagine not experiencing such things? Imagine how lonely and sad you could be? Beyond belief, there are those who have never been truly embraced, who are alone, who don't experience love in tangible ways, who have no hope. What do we do with this? Especially in juxtasposition to....

I have much to be thankful for - a loving husband, two of the most adorable offspring ever created......

.....2 loving families, most excellent friends, health, freedom, shelter, clothing, food, transportation. Most importantly, I am the daughter of the king of the universe, who loves me no matter what, who helps me find peace in all situations, who holds me while I grieve and grieves along with me, who is more revolted than I can imagine by the brokenness and autracities that happen to His children everyday, who wants nothing more than to be my friend. I am embraced, I am not alone, I am loved in tangible ways, I have hope.

I have to live my life in messy ways. Getting to know others and love them can be messy and inconvenient. Helping others can be painful and hard on our resources (time, finances). But how can I do less? Here's to rolling up my sleeves and making a mess, and showing my daughters that we are all in this together, that we share what we have with those who don't have, that it is not "us" and "them" - it is simply, and beautifully "we".

"The wind is strong and the water's deep, but I'm not alone in these open seas, Cause your love never fails...."

Don't tell me I didn't warn you.
Peace,
Tam

who can keep up with her?

No, it is not a rhetorical question. I am actually looking for an answer. For those who know me, I was called "person most likely to power a small city with my energy" in my master's program. Well, joke is on me. My daughter is "person most like to power a large city with her energy".

There is so much to love about Ro. From her contagious laugh to her smile that lights up a room, Ro is pretty incredible. She knows what she wants, and is learning to clearly communicate that at all times. Ro can vocalize her concerns, her dreams, and her loves. We talk about everything from Jesus to food in one conversation! Ro's biggest stumbling block right now is also one of her assets - her passion for life. She is learning to harness this in a positive way. It has been a trying experience at times to gently guide her...

Ro would be quick to tell you she loves books, food, watching movies ("Mary Poppins", "The Sound of Music", anything Disney), and playing...anything...with anyone. Her best friend is Gracie Lou, who is moving to Winnipeg. This will be a tough situation to digest, for all of us. Gracie Lou's family are our best friends. But that is for another post.

Here is Ro with Gracie at a recent playdate, watching "Mary Poppins" (a favourite for them both). 

I am a changed woman for knowing Ro. She has touched my life beyond my wildest dreams. Continue to dream big and love wildly, Ro. We love you!

Okay, on with her day. I woke up at 7:45 this morning. I wasn't sure it was morning yet, so I verified that with Mom.

Dad had just gotten home from work, so I was able to have a nice snuggle with him. I gave Mom the heads up that I wanted to wear something different than the outfit I picked out the night before. I told her I would find it. I picked my most favourite dress of the moment, a new acquisition from the One of a Kind show. Mom and Dad told me I could get a dress, and this swing dress from Redfish was what I chose. It is soooo comfortable!

After getting dressed, I immediately wanted to eat breakfast. I don't know about you, but I am famished as soon as I wake up in the morning. Pancakes were on tap this morning which was fine by me! I love my Mom's oat/spelt pancakes - delish! I don't like having to wait for them though. This sometimes stresses me out.

No wait this morning though! They just needed to be heated up. Great!

After breakfast, we finished getting ready for our day. My friend, Muriyn, was coming over for a playdate so it was incentive to get ready quickly. I sometimes don't cooperate with Mom about brushing my teeth, washing my face, and doing my hair. It means I have to stop reading or playing for a couple of minutes and that cramps my style. Mom sometimes loses her patience with me, but today I fully cooperated. I wanted to wear a hair clip today instead of my usual hairband.

I then read some books to Vi before Muriyn came over. I can't wait for Vi to sit up and enjoy books with me!

After a great playdate, it was lunchtime. We had kielbasa, cheese, and squash soup for lunch. I wasn't crazy about the squash soup, and really took my time about finishing my lunch. Mom helped me so we could "get on with our day".

I then had my rest time. Rest time is when I go to my room and enjoy being by myself for a little while. I read books, play with toys, or invent things to play. Today was an invention day. I talked with my stuffed animals and dolls the whole time.

After reading a whole Junie B. Jones book with Mom and Vi, it was time to wake up Dad. After chilling for a little while, I went outside to ride my bike so Mom could take a video of it. I just got the hang of pedaling yesterday. I'm getting pretty good! Check out the video here....

I then played with my balls, skipping ropes, and bubble toys. What a great afternoon in the sunshine!

After supper (we had leftovers tonight - pasta, chicken, and spinach in a vodka tomato sauce), we danced to music, played doctor, and read 4 Curious George books while Vi ate one last time. It was pretty cool putting her to bed with Mom. I still really like Goodnight Moon...I then put on my pjs (boy, do I love pyjamas!!), brushed my teeth and washed my face, read another Curious George book, and went to bed. I tried to get Mom to bring me a glass of apple juice, but she said no. Oh well.....Well, it's 7:30 and I'm pooped from a full day. Here's to a great day tomorrow. It's my last day of preschool until JK in the fall. I'm pretty excited about it....

Here's my school, The Chartwell House. I'll miss it, but just think of the things I can do instead of going to preschool 2 mornings/week. Yippee!!

Okay, time to really sign off.

Until tomorrow, or whenever Mom blogs again,
Ro

i'm done with...

...my kids being sick. Enough already. Really. Vi is tired of coughing up phlegm (or more accurately, not coughing it up so it has settled in her chest). We have gone through about 24 boxes of facial tissue this winter (thanks Costco!) and I'm sure Ro won't miss blowing her nose.  I am tired of waking in the night to feed Vi after a coughing fit (she was sleeping through the night).
...staying up too late. Our financial dude was here until 1 am on Saturday night (I mean, Sunday morning), then Vi woke up. I was in bed around 2 and then Vi was up at 6:15 (rare early wake up for her). Sunday was surprisingly fine, then today was a write off. No patience. Everyone in my household had a nap, at the same time. Amazing and it felt great. Our meeting with our financial dude was gold though. Kind of worth it...
...being insecure at the age of 36. I am who I am and I don't need to apologize for it or feel self-conscious. This has been a lifelong struggle for me, and God has helped me gain confidence, which I have learned is contagious. People want to know WHO you are. They crave authenticity and openness. Let's be real with each other.
...worrying what other people will think. There aren't enough hours in the day to dwell on that. Be a great communicator, be respectful and loving. "...love others and .... love God". That's what it is all about.
...buying things not made in North America (as much as possible). I'm willing to spend more to support the great country I live in.
...purchasing what society wants me to purchase (in beauty products, food, clothing, etc.). We all need to take our health a little more seriously and I for one have been doing this for a little while now. I see health practioners on a regular basis for maintaining good health (yes, my hubbie has great benefits). I buy local and/or organic. Support your local farmer's market this spring/summer! I buy "good for my skin" cosmetics, skin care products, etc. Did you know your skin absorbs what you put on it 10 times faster than the food you ingest? 60% of what you put on your skin ends up in your bloodstream. Check your labels. Things to avoid: mineral oil, petrolatum, parabens, phalates, benzene, sodium lauryl sulfate, dea, mea, tea, dioxin, chemical dyes, chemical fragrances, tallow, animal products and by-products, avobensone, benzphenone, paba.
...isolating myself. It's my defence mechanism. It's very often not a conscious part of my decision making process, but it is there nonetheless. I need to be investing in others, building others up, being vulnerable, sharing love, sharing hope, sharing life.

What are you done with?
Hoping to use facial tissue on my children's noses on a weekly basis instead of daily,
Tam

because it is Thursday and.....

my oldest has been sick for 3 days......
I have had lots of opportunity to show love to my family this week.....
I feel loved......

I thought I would share things I love with you.

I love......
spending time with my family, immediate and extended
soaking in Violet's toothless grin
listening to her talk to me in coos and gurgles
holding Rowyn's hand
talking with Rowyn about all different things
listening to Rowyn laugh
listening to Rowyn talk with Ben about little things and deep things
reading with Rowyn
hearing Rowyn say words I think she shouldn't know (most recent: "I don't want to wear this crappy dress.")
hearing Rowyn or Ben say they love me
a clean, organized environment
hanging out with my hubbie, watching movies, reading, snuggling, being ourselves, being vulnerable
holding hands with Ben while sitting on the sofa, walking down the street, driving the car......whenever
drinking tea and eating biscotti
walking
soaking in precious moments with loved ones
travelling (I yearn to visit Paris again. *sigh*)
eating Italian food
Marble Slab ice cream
camping
reading
talking with a good friend
the smell of fresh cut grass
trees
snow
sunshine
enjoying a hot chocolate someone else has made (like at Second Cup.....yes, please)
warm socks (Smart Wools)
being understood
being loved
being the princess daughter of the king of the universe.

What do you love?

Until next time,
Tam