processing is a journey, part 1

Mozambique:
A former Portuguese colony
Differing from British colonies, nationals were treated without dignity or respect. They were given limited access to education and health care. 
When Mozambique achieved independence, the Portuguese, upon leaving, poured cement down wells. They set fire to landmarks. They did unimaginable things.
Mozambique was left bereft - of dignity, of self-respect. The country was left to govern themselves with no experience doing so. There were few skilled labourers. The infrastructure was in shambles. 
Within one year of independence, almost all the Portuguese population had left. This rapid exodus left the economy in disarray. 
Then civil war, for 15 years, under the auspices of communism. War destroyed the remaining wealth. There was a state of absolute disrepair. 
Now democracy. Then a cyclone caused widespread flooding. Now economic recovery led by investment from South Africa, East Asia, and returning Portuguese nationals. 

My Journey: We step off the plane and see a single terminal airport, probably not too much unlike what the Hamilton airport would have been back in the day. There was one entrance door, one customs officer, one conveyor that contained our lugguage. 

All 7 of us, plus our MCC service worker, pile into a SUV, and head to the guesthouse. Our first glimpses included palm trees, some buildings being constructed, a resort with Asian funding being constructed, people walking on the side of the road, cyclists, and potholes the size of craters. 

As we enter Beira proper, the asphalt becomes patchy, the potholes increase in number, and we see large houses. We discover that at one time, this was one of the richest neighbourhoods. Humour me here. Close your eyes and picture a neighbourhood not far from where you live with 3000-4000 square foot homes, dated, but still well kept, lawns manicured, gardens neat and bursting with colour, mature trees, single families, multiple new cars that are freshly detailed in the driveway. It feels safe, secure, wealthy - for some of us perhaps unfamiliar, perhaps uncomfortable. Now imagine the only thing in common are the cars in the driveway. Well, actually, not even the cars. Imagine older model SUVs, patchy asphalt driveway, homes stained with mold and moisture, gardens long overgrown, laundry hanging across the second floor balconey. Further down the road, imagine these homes with no windows, gardens long gone, multiple families, no cars, and dirt. Everywhere dirt. Dusty, loamy, cover your feet kind of dirt. The kind that is so light it blows in the lightest breeze. The kind that it is hard to feel clean as it sticks to the least bit of moisture on your body. 

What happened to these once-beautiful neighbourhoods? War, neglect, poverty, lack of materials. 

Please close your eyes again. Imagine the Royal York in Toronto in all its glory, flags waving in the wind, clean, pristine. Imagine it gutted by a colonial power, burned, broken. Imagine 4-5000 squatters taking it over, men, women, children. Imagine walls and floors being chiselled away so chunks of concrete could be sold. Imagine children roaming all day as school is out of their reach. Imagine the once majestic yards and landscape overrun with grasses and weeds. Imagine the Olympic-sized swimming pool being used as their sewer. Imagine all windows long gone, tattered sheets blowing in the ocean breeze. Imagine how dark it is when the sun goes down at 5:45. My heart broke for the women and children, trying to survive. 

Grand Hotel, built in the 1060s

Heavy, dark, lack of hope. To be honest, that is exactly how I feel. Guilty. Sick. Heartbroken. 

I ask Steve, a BIC missionary and our tour guide, living in Beira for 1 year, how he keeps going, keeps positive, has hope. He looks at me and understands. He sees the lack of hope, the heartbrokenness. One word sticks out from what he shares next and that is OPPORTUNITY. Everywhere I see despair, he sees an opportunity. An opportunity to share food. An opportunity to raise funds to send a child to school. An opportunity to be loving, kind, and full of peace. An opportunity to share the hope he has in a better future. 

And it strikes me, right between the eyes. It is simple. It boils down to one thing. Everyone needs HOPE. As a mom without hope, I see a dark future for my children. I see neverending hunger. I see the cycle of poverty continuing, always continuing, without end. I see lack of confidence and the erosion of spirit in my husband. I feel the weight of caring for my family, of pretending to like waking up each day. The hunger pains have become my friend, something that is reliable and will always be with me. I see my comrades-in-arms, wearing their capalanas around their waist and their ends, carrying their tubs of fares to be sold at market, never meeting my eyes. I feel lonely. And then, HOPE. Hope fills my thoughts as I wake each morning, walking to get water. I smile at my children, as they get ready to walk to school, uniforms on, books in hand. My mundane, tedious tasks of making pots of rice, porridge, beans, brings me a joy as I feel pride in feeding my family. I feel the birthing of something new in my community. 

Where does this hope come from? From guys like Steve, and his wife, Chris, who left it all behind and who befriend those in Beira. They bring breakfast to street kids. They bring dinners to prisoners who never get to leave their cells, women accompanied by their children. They host moms groups. They teach those interested about Jesus and his transforming message of love and peace. They train and equip pastors and leaders. 

From people like Lisa, who left her career in Ontario in dentistry to build houses for Mozambican families. These families upkeep the inside of the homes, pay for the water and electricity, and she maintains the homes, pays the school fees for the children, and for $800, the family has a home that is theirs after 10 years. Oh, did I mention that these families also adopt 5-6 kids aged 5-11? And that they live in a 9 metre by 10 metre home? That they can have up to 3 biological kids? She is currently building homes 3 and 4, a duplex. How does she fund this? Us. You. Me. How does she get paid? Us. You. Me. The hope she brings is immeasurable. Once unloved are now loved. Once uneducated are now educated. Once hopeless are now full of HOPE. 

One of the homes, built by Lisa (and student engineers)

Lisa

From guys like Tony, recovered alcoholic and drug addict, now husband and father. He meets with a group of teenage boys 3 mornings per week in the alleyway in a market where they sleep before they split for the day. He brings them messages of transformation, hope, and encouragement. He brings money, food, love, and sometimes employment. He brings hope. 

Tony and his sidekick, Jim

The boys

From organizations like Mennonite Central Committee (MCC). With programs funded by individuals and organizations like The Meeting House, they are providing funding to grassroots programs that provide skill training to teenagers so they can have hope of earning a living for their families. They are funding programs like AACO (Aid Association for Orphan Children) where single and double orphans can go to hang out and eat. They also ensure each orphan has the required paperwork to go to school for grade 1 (not an easy feat for a lot of orphan children). These kids have the hope an education brings. They are funding schools, providing agricultural teachers for education in the school but also for the community. These communities have the hope that becoming self-sufficient brings. They are funding the BIC church HIV/AIDS program that provides awareness, education, home care, care kits, medicine. These people living with HIV/AIDS have the hope that there is a brighter future, one without stigmitization, one with community. A community filled with hope. 

AACO in Mafambisse

Teenage girls at Machanga, walking to school

Mozambique...here I come!!

The countdown is officially on - 30 days until I leave for Mozambique!! This may come as news to some (those who didn't see my Facebook status updates), and is old news to others. What? Why? How? Who with? WHAT??? I thought I would bring you all up to speed...

The AIDS pandemic and its ravaging of the continent of Africa first came onto my radar back in the day, pre-children (I really don't remember those days), when I was working full-time at our church, The Meeting House. I started talking to friends about it, I started reading about it (the first book I read was Stephen Lewis' Race Against Time), and I started to pray. I read a bunch on the unequal distribution of resources in our world, I read more on the plight of our global neighbours, and I prayed more. God put a burning desire on my heart at that time (probably 7 years ago now) to travel to southern Africa - I didn't know how, I didn't know when, I just knew I was to go.

Fast forward 7 years, and here I am, the mother of 2 young children, the wife of someone who is never home while he is working, the person who makes our family tick. But God was stirring. He has been leading me down this path as of late, and I knew I should apply to be a member of the next Africa Learning Team. What's an Africa Learning Team? It's a small team of around 5-7 people from The Meeting House who travel to southern Africa to learn about the programs we fund on the ground, to investigate development, to witness the people and stories and changed lives, to partner with MCC, World Vision, and the BIC church, to build relationships with our friends and partners on the ground, and to be an advocate upon return. Note: to give some context, The Meeting House has given MCC approximately $2.5 million to beef up programs in southern Africa and we have pledged to give another $3.5 million to MCC and World Vision over the next 4 years. 

When The Meeting House began to publicize about its next Africa Learning Teams, one in May (with Mennonite Central Committee) to Mozambique, and one in July (with World Vision) to Malawi, I applied to both. Part of me was really hoping to go on the July trip - we have 2 sponsored children in one of the ADPs the team would be visiting, and Ben's show was scheduled to finish just before the trip so he could be the girls' primary caregiver. The next step in the process was an interview (with 2 of our best friends), and then I was offered a spot on the Mozambique team (in May). I accepted without a single hesitation, though I really thought God wanted me in Malawi and South Africa, not Mozambique. However, after digesting the news, I knew Mozambique was where God wants me. And now I leave in 30 days, to taste, smell, hear, and touch part of the continent I have been yearning to visit.

I AM SUPER EXCITED!!! Did you all hear that? I am so pumped to go, to learn, to hold, to help, to uplift, to be broken, to share stories. I have a team of people praying for me, I have wonderful family, friends, and extended family who are supporting me through encouragement, contributions, long skirts, miscellaneous things I will need for the trip, and prayers, and my kids and husband are excited for me to have this experience too (which is huge). Leading up to my interview, Ro would get teary when we talked about me leaving for 15 days. She would say she didn't want me to go. After I got offered a spot and talked with her about it, she was so excited - not one tear! I know the sadness will come (we had a little bit tonight), but she is stoked because she is going to hang with some of her favourite people (grandparents, dear friends, and her dad). Her routine will remain intact (school, playing, eating, sleeping), and both girls benefit by being able to remain at our home. A huge thank you to everyone who has helped to make this happen!!

I am also totally curious. I wonder what Mozambique will be like when I step foot there? I have read lots, watched lots of footage, but I haven't seen the dirt, breathed in the smells and the ocean, felt the wind, heard the languages. I wonder what God has in store for me and the people I meet? I wonder how our team will click and support each other?

I am also a little nervous. Let's be honest - I've never been away from Ben and the girls for this long (15  days!!). I'm mom and wife. That's who I am, that's what I do. But I have continued to remind myself that most importantly, I am God's child, obeying his leading, venturing out into the unknown. I know He will give me the strength, the peace, and the sustenance I need to make it through. I'm feeling the weight of being the eyes and ears for so many, to remember all the stories, to be an advocate on return. I want to do the people justice. I don't want to forget.

For a quick snapshot of life in Mozambique, read this interesting website: comparing Canada and Mozambique. I'm a senior in Mozambique. That is mind-boggling. To see a country torn apart by civil war, by a colonial power that pillaged and burned as they pulled out; a country on the ocean, yes, but with no water inland; to observe child-headed households and the other devastating affects of the AIDS pandemic - please join me in praying for safety, health, and emotional well-being for our team (Matt, Dan, Tim, Jane, Beth, Siobhan), that God would use us as He sees fit, that we would be open to new and different things, that our advocacy component would come together and bear true witness to Mozambique, MCC, the BIC church, and mostly to the people we meet, and that we would come back to never be the same. Pray for the Mozambicans we will interact with, that we will be Jesus' hands and feet and shine his perfect love. Please pray for our families that we leave behind.

Have any questions? Let me know!

I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Tam

the journey continues

Happy February!! Some of you, especially from the Great White North, might be wondering what is so happy about February. I'll tell you - winter is still here in full force, yet spring is around the corner; we celebrated our 17 year anniversary (WHAT!!??? I grow more in love with my sidekick as each day passes by - he is such a gift); and God continues to grow me and change me. That doesn't really have to do with February per se, but some of it has happened in February so it has made February "happy".

If you have been reading and following our journey, you will see we have been processing simplicity, and what that means for us as individuals, as parents, and as a family. Some of what it has meant is simplifying our schedule (we have no extra-curricular things on our plate right now, other than volunteering - just "being" is so important for us all!!), and simplifying the clutter (we have continued to give stuff away. The Christie Refugee Welcome Centre in Toronto is always in need of things for families that are looking to start again.). We continually examine how we spend our money so we will spend less, freeing up resources for those that need it. What freedom!!

Then, in the awesome little Thursday evening group I'm a part of, someone recommended reading 7: an experimental mutiny against excess. I am a reader and it sounded intriguing. Plus it was available from our public library. Free reads are even better. Well, talk about being challenged on so many levels, to the core of who I am. I can't stop sharing about this book, and I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of hearing me blab on about it, so I thought I would share about it here so I could process it in community.

Jen Hatmaker, a thirty-something mom of 3 (at that point, now a mom of 5), was encouraged by a friend to do her own social experiment right when she felt God was confronting her with her greed, excess, materialism, consumerism, envy, pride, comfort, insatiability, and irresponsibility. Her social experiment was simple: 7 months, 7 areas, reduced to 7 simple choices. It was a fast for her: an intentional reduction to make room for the important things, to let God do His thing. Jen wanted to repent of some of these things, set an example for her kids, and she wanted to untether from the lie of "more". The 7 areas were food (she only ate 7 foods for the month), clothes (she was allowed 7 articles of clothing for the month), possessions (gave away 7 things her family owned, EVERY DAY), media (no TV, gaming, Facebook/Twitter, iPhone apps, radio, texting, and Internet), waste (7 habits for a greener life: gardening, composting, conserving energy and water, recycling, driving only one car, shopping thrift and second-hand, and buying local for one month), spending (only spent money in 7 places for a month), and stress (she started to take a "Sabbath", a day of rest, and she paused and prayed 7 times per day, based on Seven Sacred Pauses). Some of you are probably thinking this chick is CRAZY, but was this book ever convicting. And God taught her so much.

Here are my own 7 lessons I have learned that have changed how I do life:

1. As Jen learned, no one noticed that she only wore one pair of jeans, 2 t-shirts, 1 long-sleeve shirt, 1 blouse, and 1 pair of capris all month. I can be so wrapped up in what other people think of me, that I quickly lose perspective and start to focus on the outside, when what is on the inside is what impacts everyone around me. NO ONE NOTICED!! 
2. I was challenged to share even more of our things. 2 sets of sheets for our bed? Give 1 to a family that is just starting out. 2 identical measuring cups? Give 1 to a family that is just starting out. A couple of extra towels? Give them to a family that is just starting out. Do we really need 8 plastic plates with matching cups? Nope. Give 4 of each to a family that is just starting out. And the list goes on. Sure, I might experience some inconvenience (like having to hand wash a plate before I was going to run the dishwasher, but really?? I'm going to complain about that??) but the joy of sharing and making a difference in someone else's life far outweigh any inconvenience. 
3. We are going to tackle gardening and canning this summer. Can't beat eating what you grow - keeps it organic, local, and cost-effective!! Hopefully the rabbits will share...
4. I am intentionally resting from sunset Saturday to sunset Sunday. I've never really taken a Sabbath. It's not how I am programmed. I keep looking for more, the next thing to do, under the guise of "being helpful", or "staying ahead of the curve", or "not wanting to let things pile up because then Monday is a gong show". Well, guess what? We have survived 2 Sabbaths, and Mondays have been just fine. It takes a little more planning ahead (like knowing what we are going to eat and having the ingredients on hand, better yet, prepared) but the rest is worth it. Family time. You can't beat it!!
5. I have started to implement the 7 sacred pauses each day and this has been REVOLUTIONARY for me! Okay, my goal is to pause 6 times a day because I am not going to get up at midnight. Sorry! But I have set my alarm for 6 times throughout they day, when I pause, read a little blurb about the pause, read some Scripture that goes along with it (all from the book of Psalms), and I pray. TALK ABOUT GAINING PERSPECTIVE, changing the focus. Starting my day with my focus on God and how I can serve those around me, how He can use me, how I can love those around me - it is healthy. I am intentionally looking for how God can use me throughout my day, inviting the Spirit to lead me, fostering peace in all my relationships, being grateful and thankful (which goes along with the gratitude journal I have been keeping). This is just what the doctor ordered. I feel like I have a new lease on life - and I don't want to waste a day! My eyes and heart are open. 
6. Life in the suburbs might not be the best fit for my family. Considering the environmental cost of commuting, the cost of keeping up 2 cars, the economic ramifications of continually shopping at big box stores, the isolation and perceived "safety" of the 'burbs...an exploration of city life might be in the works. 
7. The American dream isn't what God had in mind for the North American church. We are still acting like we are at a feast, but life is about balance, feast and fast. Where is the fast? Do we think ourselves so superior to the rest of creation that we are willing to deplete the earth to supply our luxuries? Where is the sacrifice for others? Where is the equality? What if all my little purchases do matter? What if we were more interested in justice? What standard is acceptable for my own life? My own family? This is the benchmark for everyone else, which means a decrease in the definition of necessary for us and an increase in the definition of acceptable for everyone else. 

I am 38 (yes, I am 1 year older than the last time I posted something) and am tired of living with my head in the sand. I want to make a difference, which starts with one decision. This one decision starts to impact every other decision that gets made. It becomes the first thing you think about when making a decision. It changes you. What is that decision? The decision to live differently, to make a difference, to not take life and all the things we have in North America for granted, like we deserve them. It is a decision to become focused on others, my neighbours who physically live beside me (hi Darla and Ray!!) and my neighbours who I have never met in South Africa. And do you know what makes this decision even better? Doing it with friends. Who is up for shaking up the status-quo? 

Never the same again,

Tam

perspective

Merry Christmas to you all! I have loved simplifying the holidays this year and have really enjoyed the focus our new Advent traditions have brought this season. I can actually say I am full of anticipation celebrating Jesus' birth. With having no Christmas shopping to do, Ben around for the last 2 weeks due to an injury (tore his left quad at work), and minimal baking this year (I scaled down my usual 11-14 recipes to our 3 favourites), I have truly been able to revel in the joy and peace this season can bring. And then...tragedy.

I happened to learn of Friday's tragic events through people's status updates on Facebook, and immediately was shocked and saddened to hear of such devastation and pain. I cannot imagine losing my child or spouse in such a sudden, violent way. But there was something that really started to bother me - the media coverage (which I have not watched) and people processing this through their status updates. And it got me thinking. Do we believe every human life is of equal worth? Because if we do, what about the more than 26500 kids who die every day of preventable causes related to their poverty? Whose status updates are crying out for these mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents who have lost their innocent child? Just because it happens more frequently and less violently (sometimes) in third world countries shouldn't make it any less tragic, sad, or shocking.

So, to answer the "what can I do in the face of these tragic events" question, it is time to expand "our own backyard". It is time to cry out for those around the world who are orphaned and don't have access to medicine, food, and clean drinking water. It is time to do something. We are aware. We must act. Save a life...now, through purchasing clean drinking water, a mosquito net, an animal for someone, by sponsoring a child. There are many reputable organizations who provide opportunities to do such things (like World Vision, MCC, Compassion, a load of clean drinking water organizations, and lots of other great relief organizations). It is time to get down on our knees and pray for the hurting, the sick, the lonely, the orphaned, the lost, wherever they live, regardless of circumstance. 

"Break my heart for what breaks yours",
Tam

celebrating advent

How do you celebrate Advent? Our usual game plan is: buy the Lindt chocolate calendar from Costco, try not to fight over who gets the delicious chocolate each day...and that's about it. Sure, we talk about the birth of Jesus, but I wouldn't say it is a family focus.

This year, I thought we could raise the bar and focus on what this season means to us, not so much on chocolate. Sooooo, I didn't buy the Lindt chocolate calendar this year. I wondered if I would have a mutiny on my hands, and that is yet to be seen. Instead, I revamped a reusable Advent calendar I bought a couple of years ago.

Each closed space used to house a Christmas decoration that you would hang on the tree - new day, new door, new decoration. Well, when I got the calendar out last week, Ro and Vi immediately got out every decoration and hung them on the tree. "Perfect," I thought. "Now I could move forward with my plan."

With some inspiration from Pinterest (where else, right??), I decided I would fill each slot with a family activity that would focus on relationship leading up to the birth of Jesus, since He is relationship. They range from watching "Frosty the Snowman" together and eating popcorn, to dancing to Christmas carols, to doing a service for someone in need. Ro will love this idea for sure!

Then, each night, we will talk about why Jesus came to earth as a baby, and an attribute of Jesus. On pieces of card stock, I wrote "Jesus is..." and then listed a characteristic. I referenced a Bible verse or passage on the back so we could discuss it further. For example, the first day we are starting with "Jesus is...peace". Two of the cards have "Tam's story" and "Ben's story" referenced on the back so we can share with the girls how the listed attribute attracted us to Jesus/informs our relationship with him. The last characteristic we will discuss on Christmas Eve is how "Jesus is...a gift". We will then display the cards so we can look them over whenever we so desire.

To finish it off, I have put together a daily reading list of Christmas/seasonal books and Bible stories, segmented (for easier comprehension and discussion, and so that I have 24 things to read), that highlight the season and the birth of Jesus. Some of them are quite short but this was intentional so that it left time to talk through ideas, reflect on stories, make comparisons to other stories we have read, and relate them to our lives.

Now, some of you will be howling at this point. I hear you. And I agree - this might be ambitious for an almost 5 year old and not quite 2 year old. But I have never thought there is anything wrong with setting the bar high, as long as we are muddling through together, keeping our minds and hearts open. And there is never anything wrong with trying to maintain singular focus in a muddled world.

I would love to hear how your family celebrates the Advent.

Here's to another dose of intentionality,
Tam

'tis the season....

For what? What does this "season" look like, feel like, mean to you? Well, for those that know our family, it is a time of constant celebration. Ben's birthday tends to kick it off (November 9), then we decorate the house and put up the tree, we go to our favourite Christmas party in late November, Ro's birthday is December 3, Vi's birthday is December 20, we will have 2 family Christmases (Smith and Misener), we love the traditions we have started on Christmas Eve (fondue and storytelling around our fireplace), Christmas Day, and my birthday is December 26. We also have our extended Misener Christmas on January 1. *Insert collective sigh.* But a mainly good sigh.

This year, in our quest to simplify, we wanted things to look different and feel different. We wanted to make sure our focus remains on our Constant, and not on all the "stuff" that we can get sucked into. We wanted to make sure we weren't thoughtlessly adding to our possessions (see our 100 thing quest) but thoughtfully thinking through gifts. We started this last year, and this year, we have a MAJOR family experience planned. Stay tuned....

So, for our birthdays, we are doing one family celebration on December 1. We are going to go to our favourite local restaurant (Ro wanted to go to Swiss Chalet, but I put my foot down - little Ben) to celebrate all our birthdays in one shot, and have cake at home for dessert. This alleviated the need for 4 special birthday dinners, extended family birthday parties, or the dreaded friend birthday party that costs hundreds of dollars (the going rate around here - no one does home birthdays anymore it seems). We will still take time on our respective days to celebrate the birthday person (Ro wants pancakes and bacon for dinner), but it will be low-key and it doesn't have to be about stuff. Since the girls' birthdays are on a Monday and Thursday respectively, Ben isn't able to be home for any celebration and we all decided that it would be WAY better to celebrate all together. For their birthdays, I'm going to write each girl a letter telling them how much they are loved and what we adore about them.

The decision to do this hasn't been without pain. "What about celebrating each kid individually?" "Won't their actual birthday days be anti-climatic?" "Are you doing a disservice to your kids?" "Is this sustainable moving forward?" Let me answer some FAQ.

• First off, Vi is turning 2 and really doesn't have a sweet clue as to when her "real" birthday is. She'll be thrilled to wake up to a decorated room on any day, and even more thrilled that we are together as a family to do so. 

• I'm not sure our culture's push to tell each kid how special they are is a healthy stance, focus, statement. Our bend towards individualism has caused us to become self-reliant, less tolerant of those who believe/think/live differently than us, and isolated. Celebrating individually is fun, and if all our birthdays were somewhat spread out through the year, this might be a non-issue. But since our birthdays are together, since we want celebrations to focus on relationship, what better way than doing it all together!!
• I love each of my daughters to the moon and back, and I can show them this collectively and individually all throughout the year. 

• Though we love tradition, we are super flexible and will evaluate each year as it comes. Sustainability, shushstainability. 

I have no problem with people disagreeing with our decision. But the key word is that it is OUR decision, and it is what feels right...this year...for us.

Here's to celebrations that focus on what really matters - relationship,
Tam
aka the birthday grinch

October Update

Living simply. I thought I had a good idea what that looked like. I thought I was putting it (somewhat) into practice. I didn't want to get caught up in society's consumerism. I wanted to be generous. But then, this happened.
Then this.
Then a group of women started to meet and discuss what we could do to foster simplicity, peace, generosity. We wanted to do more for AIDS orphans.
Then this happened.
Ziploc bags with cash? Nothing new? Only having 100 things? Let me share what's been happening with the Smith's.

A friend shared an article with me about a movement called "The Compact". This group started in San Francisco in 2006, and the word has spread. These people were fed up with consumerism and waste, and decided to not buy anything new for a whole year. Well, that was 6 years ago and they are still going strong. I began to wonder if I could do that. I'm not a great shopper, and thrift stores around me are mainly of the Value Village variety, but I decided to be very mindful of my shopping habits. If I could find something used, I would buy it over buying new. Which then led to...

The Hole in our Gospel. You can read about that here. A friend who read this post then reached out and asked if a few gals would like to get together to talk about this and applying it to our lives. I was on board right away. I knew we needed to start to live simpler lives. We weren't living beyond our means, accumulating debt. But we were spending more than we needed to be spending. And I knew if we could pare down our monthly budget, we could give more money away. And that is what we have done. Month one, under our belts. We had Ziploc bags labelled for our different budget lines (groceries, entertainment, household, etc.) filled with the cash we were willing to spend. Once the cash was gone, it was gone. We spent about $1500 less than we normally would, by trimming our budget everywhere (groceries, entertainment, investments, etc.). And do you know what? We survived - even with hosting Thanksgiving and Ben eating at home for 3 full weeks, we did it. We said no to some things. We said some things would have to wait. We had great conversations about stuff, needs, and wants. I was eagerly looking ahead to see what was next.

Precious Clement was next, our newest sponsored child. Ro picked her because she was a girl and "girls don't have as many opportunities to go to school", she was Ro's age, and Ro "liked her dress" in the photo. We are thrilled to have another sponsored child from Mposa, Malawi! Then, One Roof.

One Roof was an amazing time of celebration put on by our church, The Meeting House. Thousands gathered at The Powerade Centre in Brampton to sing, dance, and learn of our new mission. It is broken into 3 parts - care, invite, grow. Invite and care really resonated with me. We are aiming to relationally invest $5 million in local and global compassion initiatives. That's what church is to me - living out Jesus' love. What better way than to redistribute some of our wealth!

Then, the same friend who shared about "The Compact", sent me a link to the 100 thing challenge. Phew! The basic gist is you par your belongings down to 100 things. Let's face it. For some of us,  what fills are house are items that aren't required. Testimonials include being more joyful, more thoughtful, and FREE - free from the pull of stuff, free from society's pull to spend, spend, spend. I started by counting how many things I had. I grouped several things together: underwear, socks, and bras (counted as 1 item), make up, face care, bike gear, hair care, books, and hair accessories (6 items). And yes, each piece of jewelry, each article of clothing, each pair of shoes, was counted individually. I ended up at 155, after paring it down from about 180 (I can't remember exactly). Today I went through the girls' items and Vi is sitting around 115 and Ro is around 200. That didn't include the roughly 40 things they hold in common (toy kitchen, dishes, food items, blocks, etc.). Some grouping of items happened with them also. I can't wait to go over the results with them tomorrow and talk about how much we have and how little our sponsored children have (as a comparison) - another great example of "needs" and "wants". I can't wait to see what they choose to give up/give away. What blows my mind is some people count household items in their list too (like bed, pictures, individual books, kitchen table, cars, etc.). We have a long way to go. :)

Next in line is to simplify our family's schedule (I overextended us as I thought Ro was going to be home schooled). Our one commitment wraps up in 3 weeks, the other 3 wrap up the first week of December, and 2 are ongoing but manageable. We are not enrolling the girls in any sports or activities for the winter session. Hear is all sigh a collective sigh of relief...... 

I am so thankful for the lessons that I have been learning. I may be learning these lessons later in life, but I'm so excited to foster a counter-cultural spirit in my daughters so that they are unabashedly generous, loving, compassionate, and difference-makers. 

I'd love to hear what others are doing to simplify. 

Here's to freedom and generosity,
Tam

to share, or not to share...

I have really wrestled with this post, first written over a week ago - do I go public, or do I not go public? How do I say what God has put on my heart and mind to share?

First off, let me state a couple of things:
1. My intention with this post is purely to encourage each of you where you are at. It is not to cast judgment, or say "I have it all together" - because I don't.
2. This post has been a long time in the making. What I am sharing is a lot of "old" information to me. However, this time around, I got a kick in the pants and read the information through a filter of love and shame. What a difference that makes!

I just finished reading The Hole in our Gospel, written by World Vision US President , Rich Stearns. He is a pretty normal guy, like you and me. He worked hard to overcome his childhood poverty, and lived the American Dream, being CEO of several large American corporations (okay, not too much like me - lol). He had a wife who was a lawyer, 5 kids who went to private Christian school, a lovely home, a company car (a Jag)...and then came an invitation from World Vision US to become their president. Rich fought this invite for months, but then boiled down his decision to a much simpler one - was he going to obey God or disobey God? This might sound kind of hokey, but through many different situations and colleagues, he knew this is what God wanted him to do. Have you ever had a situation like that? I have. I could resonate with his struggle. I left my teaching career, and became a children's pastor (though his decision what MUCH bigger than mine). What did Rich do? He gave up a lot of his comforts, moved his family across the country, and the rest is history.

This book is a sharing of his learnings since becoming president of World Vision US. I spent many evenings, digesting a couple of pages, then weeping. It was heavy stuff. And like I said, I had "heard it all before". But something this time was different. Let me share a couple of things that really got me thinking:

1. "What if there are children who will suffer somehow because I failed to obey God? What if my cowardice costs even one child somewhere in the world his or her life?" (This tipped the scales for him in his decision-making process in becoming president of World Vision US). Make it personal. What if it were your child?
2. Melinda Gates: "The first reason to work to eradicate malaria is an ethical reason - the simple human cost. Every life has equal worth. Sickness and death in Africa are just as awful as sickness and death in America."
3. There is no "whole gospel" without compassion and justice shown to the poor. It's that simple.
4. Yes, the world we live in is corrupt and full of awful things. We are not to give up on the world, nor retreat from it - just the opposite. We are to reclaim and redeem the world for Christ's kingdom, HERE AND NOW!!!
5. More than 26500 kids die every day of preventable causes related to their poverty. That's the equivalent of 100 crashing jetliners...daily. Have you heard that on the news lately?
6. The Bible is clear from the Old Testament through the New that God's people have always had a responsbility to see that everyone in their society was cared for at a basic-needs level. We have the resources. They are just unequally distributed. IT IS OUR TASK TO DISTRIBUTE THEM EQUALLY.
7. Poverty is extremely complex (almost all is fundamentally the result of a lack of options).
8. Hunger - imagine the desparation of knowing there is no food today and likely none tomorrow for your family. So you spend every hour of your day obsessively devoted to the search for sustenance.  854 million people do not have enough food to sustain them. This makes it the number one risk to health globally - more than AIDS, malaria, and TB combined. 
9. Thirsty - now imagine having to walk to the nearest body of water to get the water you will need for the day. 30 gallons of water weighs 250 pounds. Rich's family uses 300 gallons a day. That would require 50 round trips for his family. Reducing to 30 gallons would be a 90% reduction, but carrying 30 gallons of water 2 miles would still take about 5 or 6 trips a day, carrying 50 pounds each time, consuming about 10 hours of hard labour. Now more sinister - imagine the water you fetched was teeming with deadly bacteria, parasites, and waterborne diseases. This is the grim reality for about 1.2 billion people. Thousands of hours are lost seeking and hauling water, especially by women. Millions of children can't attend school because of the hours they spend fetching water. If you take away water and sanitation, you take away my health and that of my children. If you take away my health, you have taken away my energy and my industry. If this happens, you have taken away my dignity. If this happens, you have taken away my hope - for the future, for my children, for a better life.
10. The wealthiest countries, where just one-fifth of the world's population resides, spend 90% of the world's health care dollars, allowing the remaining four-fifths of the planet to spend only 10% of the money.
11. Education is foundational to the development of a child, his or her community, and the entire nation, and no long-term escape from poverty is possible without the methodical and routine education of children - both boys and girls. 
12. The single most significant thing that can be done to cure extreme poverty is this: protect, educate, and nurture girls and women and provide them with equal rights and opportunities - educationally, economically, and socially. Women own less than 1% of the world's property. They also work two-thirds of all the world's labour hours, but earn just 10% of the world's wages.
13. War changes everything. The governments of the world spend $1.2 trillion (that's 12 hundred billion) on their militaries. 
14. Huge difference between entitled and entrusted. I am to be a steward of my resources, that aren't really mine.
15. I should be asking "how much do I keep", not "how much do I give away".
16. Am I willing?

Okay, that was obviously more than a couple of things, and I pared the list down. But here is the bottom line - if we are all truly equal, I can't keep living the way I have been. I have to advocate for the poor, the broken, the oppressed. I need to be mindful of every dollar I spend, since $1 can bring someone clean water and so many live on less than this each day. I have to open my eyes...and my heart. Everyone is someone's child.

Each day, when I wake up, I ask God to break my heart for the things that break His, to give me renewed focus and vigour. I spend a lot more time praying for orphans around the world, for the hungry, for the sick. We put some of our extra things on kijiji and are donating the proceeds to the famine in the Sahel through World Vision (the government is matching donations until September 30). I pared down our monthly budget and we have decreased how much we are investing in RRSPs each month. We will be eating a little more simply (still healthy), but buying minimal organic items (instead of mainly organic). One of our sponsored children lives in Mposa, and right now leaders in Mposa are putting together a list of their top priorities for their community, above and beyond what child sponsorship covers. We are planning to get involved in these fundraising endeavours. We are truly seeking God's direction in what He will have us do next. We are being intentional with the money that has been entrusted to us.

Are you willing? Do you really believe that all 6.7 billion on this planet are equal? Do you believe your purpose is to show compassion, mercy, justice, and to spread God's love? Then keep it up, or start. We can all make a difference. Do little things with great love.

Fighting the good fight (without the boxing gloves),
Tam

a tale of 2 decisions

It has been one week and one day since we officially started our homeschool experiment. I use the word experiment because we didn't know how things would go so we felt the title "experiment" summed up where we were at. In my last post, I shared about our struggles on the first couple of days. I wish I could say they subsided, but instead, those struggles continued. My normally joyful daughter was not full of joy. Don't get me wrong, there were glimpses of our "normal" Ro - while swinging at the park, while reading her favourite books, while at kidmax, while with her Dad on the weekend - but they were few and far between. 

A run of the mill day would have Ro cry at some point, saying she missed school, that Mrs. McKay was a better teacher, that she missed her friends, that she missed gym and music, that she missed recess. I quickly saw there was no way I could replicate music class, gym class, recess. My extreme extrovert was wilting, carrying a burden she didn't know how to deal with. All for the sake of learning at home. The cost was quickly outweighing the benefit.

Ro became despondent, confrontational, and disobedient. Add this to our adventurous, almost 21 month old who needed my full attention and was getting leftovers. I couldn't stay on top of her in a consistent way, and Vi needs that. I found I was downgrading undesirable behaviours, unless someone got hurt. Long term, this would hinder Vi and everyone who interacts with her. I was seeing she needs some mommy one-on-one time.

Our lack of structure wasn't helping either. Ro is a structure girl. I wasn't able to provide the structure she needed. Between having another child, running a household, running errands, having appointments, every day looked a little different and that was not beneficial to her. Upon reflection, I could have kicked it up a notch and become hyper organized (that's REALLY organized for those wondering because I'm a pretty organized person running a pretty organized household) but then, where is the joy? I certainly would not have felt it because the stress I would have put on myself would have overshadowed everything. 

When Ben got home from work last night, I unloaded everything in my mind and heart. Ben suggested sending her to school. We talked about what that might look like for our family and decided to sleep on the decision. I woke up knowing that at this time, for our daughter, school is the right decision. After talking with her (and Ro doing a "I'm going to school" song and dance), I called the school to see what we needed to do to have Ro start tomorrow. I called her gymnastics school to see if we could move her lessons from Wednesday morning to after school (no problem).

And affirmations? One after another. From encouragement from friends, to Ro's teacher being ECSTATIC she is coming back, to other kids saying how excited they are for Ro to be coming back, to us being VERY fortunate to be able to have Ro's teacher from last year (I was told it is all about numbers and not relationships, so luckily Mrs. McKay had just lost a student so Ro could slip in)...we are all feeling at peace with this decision. Am I feeling like a failure? No! Am I feeling guilty? No! Am I feeling disappointed? A little bit. I had had big hopes for our time together, but am so thankful for the 3 full years I had with my daughter, not having to share my time or attention. However, this endeavour was about simplicity, family, love, and joy and the bottom line is, it just wasn't working for Ro...or for us. Could we have given this experiment more time? Maybe, but knowing my daughter and what she needs, I knew NOW was a good time to pull the plug. 

What lessons have I/we learned? That it is okay for something to not go according to plan. That no matter how equipped I can be, it might not be what others around me need from me. That I can't do anything on my own strength. That I am a much loved member of an amazing community of friends who love me no matter what. That words of encouragement (genuine) are invaluable. That I have 2 amazing daughters who are light wherever they go, whoever they interact with. That my partner in crime is just that - my life partner, in love, parenthood, life, lessons, and laughter. He is steadfast, dependable, loving beyond measure, and faithful. He shines my Maker's love for me in tangible ways. 

Here is to our next adventure, packing lunches, walking to and from school, and everything school entails,
Tam

Ro ready for gymnastics class earlier today. She LOVED it!!

wild ride...

...or rough week. It was a difficult decision which phrase to use to describe our first week. Let me give you some background. Ro and I are programmed quite similarly: we have TONS of energy, we need our sleep, we love intensely, we play hard, we are recovering perfectionists, we take risks if success is the known end result, we have our  own sense of fashion (today Ro wore a floral patterned top in browns and greens with pink plaid shorts), we LOVE food, and the list goes on....

An example of Ro's fashion sense - pink graphic t with striped long-sleeved shirt underneath. I likey!!

Some of these overlap with Ben: he loves intensely, he plays hard, he is a perfectionist, he has his own sense of fashion, he LOVES food... You can imagine how these are amplified in Ro since they are in her genes times two. Poor girl. :)

Our first two days pretty much sucked. Seriously. Ro didn't really want to cooperate and started acting beyond silly, followed by me losing my patience and telling her to shut up two days in a row. We were accomplishing things, but not joyfully. In fact, I texted Ben yesterday saying, "Ro is going to school". Later in the day (MUCH later), I was able to reflect on what had happened. Ro's fear of not doing something perfectly came to mind, as did my desire to make this schooling experience awesome. Why wasn't Ro acting like this was awesome? Why were we getting so frustrated with each other? Why did I tell her to shut up two days in a row? I came up with some reasons:

1. Our perfectionist tendencies were butting heads and I didn't see it. Go ahead and laugh. I don't now why it took me so long to figure this out, but it did. 
2. Ro's hesitance to cooperate was partially rooted in her fear of what she viewed as failure and disappointing me.
3. A part of me was fighting this homeschooling decision. With children going back to school this week, I kept fantasizing about life with only one at home - only one's needs, one's mess, one's noise. I was thinking the grass was greener elsewhere and I was fighting finding the joy in our present circumstances. A good friend pointed that out, indirectly, last night while she was sharing about her new adventure: "This is a leap of faith for me...I kind of had to look it in the face today (with trembling heart) and say "okay. If this is what You want, there must be joy for me here."" Wow. Talk about a slap in the face for me (though she did not mean it that way). I was purposefully avoiding joy. It was like I was subconsciously fighting enjoying this. When will I learn to stop fighting God and just follow Him? I've had affirmation after affirmation about our schooling decision. What more could a girl ask for?

Well, today felt like a fresh start. We enjoyed our time together. There were smiles all around, and no tears. We had fun discovering that there is indeed a star inside an apple, that there are lots of words to describe apples, that the number 8 is very difficult to print, even in crazy heat the park is a great place to play with friends, and that we love reading together (though we knew some of these things before). 

Here's to living filled with grace and mercy,
Tam

...and it has happened

The first day of school has come and gone...without us. I was on the edge all weekend, double guessing our homeschooling decision. "Could I be the teacher Ro needs? What all is she going to be missing out on? Why did we make this decision? Will Ro and I drive each other crazy being together 24/7? I don't think I can do this..." Ben was my sounding board all weekend (including on our glorious date afternoon/evening) and he patiently responded to all my questions, encouraging me, affirming me, giggling at me (yes, my husband can giggle).

I half-heartedly tried to get hold of the school last week, to no avail. I'm pretty sure I called at poor times (like 4:30 Friday afternoon) so I could change my mind last minute. However, I made the dreaded call at 8:30 this morning, and the poor secretary didn't know what to do with the information. We decided a letter would be best. :)

We spent the day at the chiropractor's, at the orchard (cut short by the rain), at the library, reviewing some letter sounds and making words with them, solidifying some number recognition, drawing a still life of an apple, dancing and singing to "Five Green Apples" by Sharon, Lois,and Bram, doing some calendar stuff (like circle time last year), eating, and reading. While I am writing this post, Vi is serenading us from her crib, and Ro is reading to herself in bed.

Ro at Frootogo, just before the heavens opened

...And we made it. After spending some time playing with this through the month of August, purchasing, investigating, getting my "teacher legs" back, we are ready to roll. Everyday will be different. Some days will have more structure than others. Some days will be for playing. Some will be for traveling. Some will be for wherever the wind blows us. Throughout it all, I know that Ro will feel valued, loved, secure, confident, and cared for. She will learn things that she wouldn't have the opportunity to learn at school. We will learn life together. And for this, I am thankful.

 Here's to a big mug of tea, and an ice cream sandwich (which I already ate for dessert),

My very delicious ice cream sandwich (minus chocolate chips since those cookies were eaten by a certain daughter of mine)

Tam

we're BAAAACK...with news!

5 months. Has it really been that long since my last post? Lots can happen in 5 months - one can be approaching full-term in pregnancy, one is almost a half-year older, one can have enjoyed a summer vacation and be starting the next grade ... or one could not have blogged for that long. I fit into the last category. You?

Let me give you a quick recap and bring you up to speed:
1. I am still using the curly hair method and LOVE it (though I am currently in need of a haircut)!!!!
2. Ro finished JK and had an amazing year (which we are so thankful for).

Ro, 4 1/2 years, and Vi, 1/2 years. 

3. Ben is working on a new CBC show, Cracked. What a year he has had! As a  first assistant (or focus puller to our US friends), he has had steady work and the accolades are piling up.
4. Vi is walking up a storm, has been through a biting phase (at least we were her only victims), and loves her big sister!
5. We have had such a memorable summer! In chronological order: Christa's parents' rented a cottage and we went up for 2 days. Then Brent (Ben's next oldest brother) and Sarah were married. Then we took Mike (Ben's oldest brother from Texas), Dawn, Aidan, and Danica to my brother's cottage. All of this in 2 weeks. Ro missed 2 of her last 4 days of school. :) Then in July we went to the Rawson's family cottage. 2 days later, 3 moms and 8 kids spent 4 days and 3 nights at my dear cousin's cottage. Ro has had outdoor swimming lessons spattered throughout. Phew! I l.o.v.e. up north SO much so I feel totally filled and refreshed.

The Smith clan at Brent and Sarah's wedding, June, 2012

Brent and Sarah, tying the knot, June 2012

Enjoying family time in the Muskokas, June 2012

With Christa in the Muskokas, June 2012

The original 3 musketeers (my amazing 2 cousins and myself). Yes, we were having "wacky hair" dinner. 

7 of the 8 offspring. The best pic I could get. :)

6. I have read a bunch of good books as of late and I'm back running and I'm having some chronic neck/back issues addressed by a woman we adore.
7. OLYMPICS. Need I say more.

There will be some posts to expand on some of these things in the near future.

Now to get to the topic of this post: schooling.

Note: here is my disclaimer. I am a passionate, pretty level-headed, prone to craziness, spontaneous wife and mother. I take these 2 roles seriously and spend much time thinking, praying, talking, and reading in my quest to be the best I can be. I can be opinionated, but I strive to be open-minded. In all things I strive to love God and love everyone around me and model this for my family. Before becoming a mother, I was an educator and advocate of the public school system. This does not come as a surprise to most of you, but now we can all say you are up tobspped with what makes me tick.

Ro starts SK in a matter of weeks. (Where has the summer gone?) Her school is slated to start the full-day early learning program (also known as full-time kindergarten) this fall. I spent much of Ro's JK observation time talking with her teacher, getting her read on the curriculum and how she would implement it. With this big change coming up, Ben and I, as of late, have been talking more and more about school in the fall and concerns I have, not only for Ro, but for our family. I thought I might share them with you and where this crazy process has taken us.

Thoughts:
1. Vi is very attached to Ro. When Ro is in another room, Vi calls for her. Vi asks for Ro first thing in the morning when I get her out of bed. She is smitten, infatuated, in love. We all think it is pretty great. With Ro gone all day in the fall, everyday, I'm going to have one sad Vi on my hands. :(
2. Ben reminded me that Ro started preschool around 26 months of age, mainly for socialization, and that we should probably give Vi the same opportunity. When I called Ro's former preschool, they have a substantial waiting list, and the minimum commitment is now 3 mornings per week, not 2 like it was for Ro. That's more $$$$, and more time away from me.
3. Ben has a very, how shall I put it, insane, not family-friendly unpredictable work schedule. Last year, Ro was only at school 2 or 3 days per week so they could still see each other quite a bit when he was home. That wouldn't be the story this fall, though we know we could keep her home some days to hang with Daddy. Gotta love the mental health days. :)
4. The new full-day early learning program is play-based (which I love). Ive always thought this is how young children learn best. However, how it is implemented is left to the teacher's discretion. There seems to be a continuum in the approach taken to "play-based". Some educators are tackling the curriculum and day with a balanced approach (some whole group activities, like circle time, some play-based instruction, some free play) while others are taking what I call a "full-hog" play approach (for example, snack table set up all day so kids can eat whenever they want, no circle time, etc.). I'm a teacher. I get it. I have no problem with different approaches. My concern is with the following year, grade 1. The steps taken to make the curriculum child-centred in the early years stop at the end of SK. This makes a huge discrepancy in learning environments for these 5 and 6 year olds. Now, Ro is a firecracker, motivated, and can roll with the punches. Again, we could make this work. It's just something that REALLY bothers me as an educator and a parent.
5. I really believe in learning through experiences relevant to kids' developmental stages and previous experiences. We want learning to be a joy and a natural process for Ro, learning through inquiry. We want to give her lots of opportunities to see the world, to learn who God has made her to be, to explore service and loving sacrificially.

As we've been talking through these things, Ben, somewhat randomly, raised the idea of us teaching Ro. This was a big deal, mainly because Ben and I have always been pretty anti-homeschooling. Come on, you have to admit it. Often you can pick out the people who were homeschooled. It used to be reserved for those families with 5+ children, who all have long hair and long dresses, who want to protect their children from the "world". As a consequence, these homeschooled kids are socially impaired interesting. We didn't talk anymore about the idea that night, but the seed planted in that conversation quickly grew into a sapling. I started to brew the idea in my head and pray like mad. Here were my thoughts:

More thoughts:
1. I really enjoy teaching. I miss it. Educating Ro would give me an opportunity to use those skills in a more intentional, regular way once again.
2. We could weave the spiritual into our discussions (since spirituality is a huge part of the child neglected at public school and our faith is so important to us).
3. If it proves to be a flop, Ro could go to kindergarten anytime during the year and we could call the experiment what it was, an experiment that didn't work out (swallowing pride at this point).
4. It is KINDERGARTEN. She doesn't legally have to attend as it is.
5. It seemed like a perfect year to give it a try.
6. How would I keep our extrovert's social tendencies satiated?
7. How would I help our high energy girl expel that energy like she so naturally does at recess?
8. Vi will be missing out on "mommy time" like Ro had, uninterrupted, for 3 years.
9. I've got a lot of balls in the air as it is, without adding another role.
10. This process is not rooted in me thinking I am a better educator than anyone else.

I wanted to talk to a couple of people whose opinion I respect and value - one, a fellow educator, early learning facilitator, and dear cousin; 2 others who are dear friends, who know me, good and bad; another couple who are straight shooters and would tell us their thoughts, holding nothing back. And it seemed God was choosing to use those around me to show me his thoughts - everyone was overwhelmingly supportive and had the same thoughts/concerns as us, and everyone said we should go for it.

When Ben and I were able to grab more than 5 minutes together last Thursday night, we came to the same conclusion. We have nothing to lose. Let's got for it. The last step was talking to Ro about what we were thinking. To be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous. I wanted her to know that her opinion was going to be valued and listened to, but not necessarily the determining factor. After a 3 second "but I'm going to miss the kids at school!!!", she quickly expressed her joy in not having to miss me (TALK ABOUT MELTING A MAMA'S HEART!!!), and then started to ask when she could be special helper, if we would also have a gotcha jar, if Vi could be special helper AFTER her, when and what field trips were we going to take. Bottom line: she was on board. This doesn't come as a huge surprise either for most of you - she's easily excitable. :)

WHAT??!!!! Yup, we are going to keep Ro home this year and learn as a family. I have no idea what that is going to look like as of yet. I have started to look at the program and think things through. I'm meeting with two other mom educators tomorrow. Most of all, we are all excited and can't wait to see where this wild ride takes us.

Here's to change and challenges,

Tam